It’s a late night. It’s been a few hours since I looked at my phone, realized I had 10 minutes left to catch the last train home, shrugged, and put my phone back in my pocket. As I finish my last pint, say my goodbyes, search my pockets for my coat check ticket stub, and step outside into the cold, I realize that too long have taxis forced their wares upon my unwilling wallet. I long to free myself from the imperialist oppression of fare meters and deviously long routes home. In short, I spent all of my cab money on beer.
With no other options, I search the skyline for the Eiffel Tower, conveniently located a block away from my apartment. With a general direction in mind, I stick my hands in my pockets and start walking.
When a tourist comes to D.C., they go to Capitol Hill or the National Mall, and they think to themselves, “So this is the Washington in the postcards. This is the city, and that’s pretty much all there is to it.” The well-informed tourist might make it a bit farther out of the city center to Dupont or Georgetown for a night out, but for the most part a tourist knows that anything that needs to be seen or done can be found only a few Metro stops away.
This tourist might be wrong, but that is beside the point. The past few times I have gone out in Paris, I have made the conscious, totally intentional decision to forego public transportation or taxis, exposing myself to the elements so my adoring readers — that’s you — can live vicariously through me. Because I know you all want to.
Using my foolproof “look for the Eiffel Tower, walk towards the Eiffel Tower” system, I have actually stumbled upon some pretty incredible places. Realizing that the deadline for my column was rapidly approaching, I decided to start writing them down, organized in order of importance.
Under “Pretty Cool”
Les Invalides
Located next to France’s premier military academy — yes, you can laugh — Les Invalides is a group of buildings with museums and monuments all related to the military history of France. More importantly, there’s a church there with a gorgeous gold dome that looks great when lit up at night.
Under “Even Cooler”
Fajitas
When I first saw this place, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The lettering on the sign and the general décor looked almost exactly like Chipotle. Once I realized my mistake, I was obviously disappointed. It’s a good thing that, after coming back at a time other than four in the morning, my mouth confirmed that “Fajitas” might as well mean “Chipotle in Paris.”
Breakfast in America
A real American style diner, open until 11 at night. It’s not Steak & Egg hours, but for four months I can settle.
Under “Actually Worth Mentioning”
Place de la Concorde
I had been near it before, but had never actually walked through it. For those of you who do not know, the Place de la Concorde is the major square in the center of Paris. It has tons of fountains, the Luxor obelisk, and I’m pretty sure they killed a king there a while back. Absolutely breathtaking at night. The lights from the fountains and the boats going by on the Seine made this one of my favorite places in the city, after...
Le Pont de Bir-Hakeim
It’s the bridge from “Inception,” where that girl from “Juno” makes all the mirrors and imaginary DiCaprio is kissing his imaginary wife. It’s right next to my apartment and it’s a great spot to watch the Eiffel Tower’s nightly light show with a date and some wine.
Under “OHMYGODINEEDTOGOHERE”
All I really had in this category was a blurry picture of what I hope is a small Thai restaurant near my apartment. Can’t really explain that one.
A tout a l’heur,
-Yaniv
