Last Friday was the day NBA fans have been waiting for. This long, drawn-out process is finally over, and basketball fans can now rest comfortably. Yes, that’s right. Lakers small forward Ron Artest officially changed his name to Metta World Peace, a funny name for someone who was the main player in one of the biggest brawls in NBA history.
So I got to thinking, what would be some ironic name changes for other athletes in the sports universe? What if Barry Bonds changed his name to Mister Clean? But before I use up all my best ones too early, here’s my list of some new names that athletes should think hard about.
Albert Haynesworth: Skinny Workaholic
My dislike for Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is well-documented. But it’s not because I’ve grown up rooting for the Redskins and he essentially represents the Dan Snyder era. When you root for the ‘Skins, you expect them to sign the best free agents, who then go on to do nothing.
What I have a problem with is that he was being paid $41 million guaranteed and refused to buy into his role as nose tackle in a 4-3 system. If his role were to go get food for the team, he should have done it.
Adding insult to injury, in his second and final year with Washington, head coach Mike Shanahan required Haynesworth to pass a fitness test, which he expectedly could not do.
Now I’m ranting. He’s lazy. He’s fat. Skinny Workaholic it is.
LeBron James: He Love Me
No one, and I mean no one, outside of Miami Heat fans like LeBron James. Literally nothing he does helps his public image.
First, there was The Decision. We all know what happened. It’s been all downhill from there. On that night, maybe the most popular player in the NBA became the league’s biggest villain.
He made fun of Dirk Nowitzki for getting sick during the NBA Finals, and then tried to play it off as if he hadn’t.
After losing in the Finals, he said people who did not like him would have to go back to their normal lives. The quote was taken out of context, yet one must believe there had to be a better way to get his point across.
But what really makes people dislike LeBron is his refusal to admit he did anything wrong by leaving Cleveland the way that he did. He either doesn’t get it or is too stubborn and prideful to admit it.
There are worse athletes out there. He has never been arrested or taken illegal substances. But are there less arrogant ones?
Cam Newton: JaMarcus Russell
Through the first two games of his NFL career, Newton has thrown for 854 yards. I’m not 100 percent sure about this, but I believe that’s more yards than Russell threw for in his entire three-year career.
I understand the comparisons; both had limited experience as a college quarterback. The difference between the two is that very few thought Russell should have been the No. 1 overall pick, whereas Newton was regarded as a favorite.
Newton will not throw for 400 yards every game in 2011, but it’s clear that in no way should he be compared to the former Raiders signal caller.
Bruce Boudreau: Total Job Security
Under head coach Bruce Boudreau, the Washington Capitals have averaged 47 wins per season and have been one of the most successful teams in the regular season. With that said, the Caps have also never appeared in the conference finals under him.
Washington has one of the most talented teams in the NHL, but they keep coming up short. If they fail in the playoffs again this season, Boudreau is surely gone - if he isn’t fired before then.
blasky@theeagleonline.com
