When the topic of marriage is mentioned in the United States, the high divorce rate is among the first facts to be cited. But in Assistant Professor Iris Krasnow’s latest book, “The Secret Lives of Wives,” she sheds light on the other side of the marriage discussion that is rarely spotlighted, revealing the secrets lives that women are leading that allow them to live in successful relationships.
Krasnow, who is the academic director of the Washington Journalism Semester and an assistant professor in the School of Communication, has generated a lot of press due to her book, which was released this October.
From “O Magazine” naming “The Secret Lives of Wives” one of the “10 Books You Must Read” to appearances on “The Today Show” and the “CBS Early Show,” “The Secret Lives of Wives” seems to have struck a chord with Americans on how to make marriage work.
This comes as no surprise as Krasnow is AU’s resident relationship wonk and has been married for the past 23 years.
In an interview with The Eagle, Krasnow described how she “looks at relationships from a very academic standpoint,” which is seen through the process she went about to collect the research for her fifth book.
Krasnow spent two years interviewing 200 plus women who have stayed married for 15 years of more.
“Black women or white women, Jewish women or Muslim women, all these women seemed to come to a general consensus as to how to stay in a healthy relationship, [which is] having a sense of passion and identity outside that of their marriages,” Krasnow said. “The question women should be asking themselves is not if they are happy with their spouses, but if they are happy without them.”
In “The Secret Lives of Wives,” Krasnow talks about the high divorce rate for Baby Boomers, parents of today’s millennial generation that is now taking its time to get married.
“Before our divorce rate in the United States hovered around 50 percent, but the divorce rate is now 43 percent and it is because of you,” Krasnow said, referring to the millennial generation, individuals born between 1977 and 1998.
Krasnow was born in the Baby Boomer generation and described it as the “want-it-all-have-it-all generation” that may have possibly created the divorce movement, whose products are children of the millennial generation.
“Before, the average age for a woman to get married was 23; now I think it is something like 28,” Krasnow said.
Krasnow expressed her excitement over the fact that people were taking their time trying to get married.
“You get so excited about getting married,” Krasnow said. “It’s a big dress, a big room, you’ve just lost ten pounds and it’s such a euphoric day. But you’re not planning a sweet 16 party; you’re setting the stage for the rest of your life. So, you really do want to get it right.”
Although Krasnow believes in marriage as an institution and sticking to it now, she does understand the reality that marriage truly is not for everyone.
“I don’t think everyone should stay married,” Krasnow said. But unless women find themselves in relationships where there is abuse or constant adultery, she said believes women should try and make their marriages work because “the grass is seldom greener on the other side.”
thescene@theeagleonline.com
