As of the coup d’état of Feb. 6 2012, the Eagle Rants Editor is no longer the Editor-In-Chief of The Eagle.
• Valentine's Day Challenge: Find the three hand-made valentines I've hidden around campus. ;)
• Judging whoever decided to show Breaking Dawn Part I on Valentine's Day so hard. Twilight is creepy, not romantic.
• I feel so good I'm gonna break somebody's heart tonight...
• @"that awkward moment when you go down to the mudbox to get food and you forgot that you left your id upstairs…" id as in identification card, or "the dark, inaccessible part of personality"?
• @respect other peoples' religions: its pretty hard to respect any religion when their bronze age ideologies infringe on modern human rights. keep your god in your church/synagogue/mosque/place of worship, please.
• @people's opinions on the Earth's origins: there are no "opinions" about the Earth's origins, modern science knows very well how it was formed (4.5 billion years ago), some people just choose to not accept it and believe in an idea a bunch of men came up with thousands of years ago when people also thought the world was flat and a sun god drove a chariot across the sky every day.
• @people hating on Kogod/business schools: I'd like to see you pass accounting...
• Why are there ads on the eagle website...? I thought this was nonprofit?
• @ "Here’s a tip. Don’t leave your door unlocked." I'm not the individual whose laptop was stolen, but being a resident who is aware of on-campus happenings, I can assure you that not all of the recent laptop thefts have happened when doors were unlocked. That's why there is a recent push from pubsafe to use the deadbolts, being locked alone doesn't make you safe. Furthermore, if you don't know the individuals situation, could we leave the sass at home please? This is not the sort of attitude I read eagle rants for…
• @"I miss acting in high school" You can still act here! You don't have to be a major to be in DPA shows, and AU Players and Rude Mechanicals are always doing great student run stuff. Don't be afraid to get involved!
• @"Don't drop 50k plus just for a self esteem booster." 50k is small price to pay for a lifetime of knowing you accomplished your greatest goal in life
• @"Grad school is a huge waste of money unless you need it for your career." It's so sad I go to school with someone this closed-minded. Grad school is not about career. Not everything in life is about work and money. Some people care about more important things like intellectual fulfillment.
• "Who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told"
• My favorite part of eagle rants is the editor notes. But it would be cool if anyone could leave notes on rants. Like you could click on the individual rant to see all the comments.
• Guy in my chem class: Why don't you talk to me? Can't you see me making goo-goo eyes at you every class? Just because I'm not the flirting type, doesn't mean I'm not interested. Talk to me!
• Why can't the walls surrounding the metro escalators have art on them instead of just being plain concrete? It would make my metro escalator riding time much more fun.
• Who else loves the poo wall?
• @"You do realize that everything you learn in grad school you can probably learn from books available for free at your local library?" Taking classes is more fulfilling than going to the library because you get feedback on your papers from professors who are experts in their field. And you get to have class discussions over the material with other interesting and intelligent students who share your academic interests.
• The Phonathon makes me miss my homework.
• @Remember that time we only got rants once a week? we don't speak of those times.
• "drunkn egle ranting is the new drunkj tesxting!!" 99% sure this was me at 3 am. Sorry Eaglerants community...
• I see dead people.
• Eagle Rants are O-U-T, S-T-A-N-D, I-N-G, OUT OUT OUTSTANDING.
• Dear netflix, why you no have big bang theory on instant play? grrrr!
• @1925 rants: "Frank, Donald and Charles were spifflicated!"
• @”Grad school is a huge waste of money unless you need it for your career.” Education is not a business transaction that leads you to a career, as you suggest. It’s a life enhancing experience. It’s not something that you just try to get it over with so you can immediately become a slave to the man as soon as possible. I pity your life perspective.
• Professor Oliver is the most amazing professor ever. I love how she is so frickin smart, yet never makes students feel like they are asking dumb questions. And her feedback is always so positive and helpful.
• @"We met Saturday night at a party. I cant mention names haha, but Yours starts with an E. Either way, it was great getting to know you. U seem like a kind, down-to-earth girl and id def be interested in hanging out sometime. If u know who I am, and am interested, let me know Sincerely, M" Seriously? If this is who I think it is, please just text or call me instead if using Eaglerants to talk to me.
• I miss undergrad so much. Law school is not what I expected. I wish there were programs in grad school that allowed you to design your own curriculum like there are in undergrad.
• @ranting spree meow.
• Shout-out to the boy I danced with at SigEp: I'm not in the practice of going home with boys I've just met (even when the boys in question are very cute) but I appreciated your honesty. I wish all boys were so upfront about their intentions.
• Why can't I stop listening to "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind? [Editor’s Note: I would understaaaaaaaannnnddd]
• If you don't stop smacking your lips when you eat I'm going to go crazy.
• hahaha yes! the wind yesterday was insane, almost knocked me over. I'm still suffering from wind burn on my face. Oh DC winters, get it together
• why did you eat my popcorn : (
• blub blub blub blub blub blub
• WHY CAN'T YOU POST THESE BEFORE NOON YOU ARE THE MOST INCONSIDERATE EDITOR WE HAVE EVER HAD AND YOU SMELL LIKE WEEK OLD PICKLES [Editor’s Note: Don’t bring the pickles into this.]
• "I just had the most amazing sex of my life. I didn’t even know sex could be done like that." DITTO. To both of you. If you just had the most amazing sex of your life, why are you being a peabrain and ranting about it and not spending more time with that person or talking to that person about the amazing sex that just occurred? Some people just don't appreciate sex when they have it. Frickin ranting after you have sex. Disgraceful.
• Gotta love the Case Competition...
• @acting in high school: join AU players! Their time commitment is less, and they do good shows. They have auditions coming up soon!
• "Lost sucks people"....."N'sync also sucks Backstreet boys were the best boy band ever".... can we get some punctuation in the hizzity house? I read it and thought about N'Sync being vampires.
• @ the person that quoted "Notice Me Horton" from Seussical....well played.
• A lot of people know who the eagle rant editor is his name is **** ****** [Editor’s Note: truth.]
• remember that time we cuddled? because I don't
• @Cause I still love him: I know that you're not who I'm imagining you to be, because she doesn't go to AU, I'm terrified that he's going to ditch me to go back to you/her.
• @ the person with the Seussical lyrics: You honestly have no idea how much those meant to me. I swear it was like a sign from above. It's hard to explain, but thanks. You made my day!(:
• @ Person who ranted "Notice Me, Horton": I love Seussical! That song is so sweet. I hope whoever the rant is about notices you.
• @Eagle Rants from 1925, Thank you for restoring my faith in AU students being awesome and inventive.
• @"Lost sucks people. N'sync also sucks Backstreet boys were the best boy band ever", I find your lack of punctuation disturbing.
• @Love is...from 2/8: My boyfriend is amazing, wonderful, perfect. I fear us ever breaking up because I don't think I'll ever find someone as perfect for me, but I also fear never being with anyone else again (we're young!). I don't know if I would sacrifice anything because I know he wouldn't make me. He's on my mind a lot but not all the time, I don't consider him in every decision. Is this love?
• 1925 Eagle Rants: "I paid a whole nickel for my evening meal at TDR. It's outrageous!" "My roommate persists in borrowing my finest knickerbockers without seeking permission. How I do detest him so."
• someone please tell anderson 631 they have mail. thanks.
• Are you sure they're not balls? Because last time they were balls.
• I'm a nevernude. There are literally dozens of us.
• @"I'm such a terrible person for still making out with you after you told me you a girlfriend!!!" Yes, you are.
• What's next, McBride? Most likely the elimination of the AUCR's and S4L... Fight the liberal elite, people!
• There has been a mug from the Dav sitting on my bedside table for a month now. One of these days, I will return it. Also all the TDR forks.
• you suck.
• AU Memes are literally making my life complete right now.
• I saw a pimp in Tenleytown a few months ago. My life hasn't been the same since.
• You're an idiot for giving me up.
• Confession: whenever I see Ralph the OL around campus, I have a little happy spasm. He wasn't even my OL.
• AU Memes killed the Eagle Rants star.
• Guys, I've been thinking about sex for 23 out of the last 24 hours. Yes, I am aware I was sleeping for 8 of those. Ok, maybe 23 and a half hours. Girls have this problem too.
• @whoever made the seussical "notice me horton" reference, you are hilarious and awesome. that musical haunted me when I was in it in middle school and again when i had to drum for it in high school, keep up the coolness hahaha
• Family, stop asking me what I want to major in. When I find out which one will make me filthy rich, I'll get back to you.
• @1925 rants: that was quite possibly the best rant I've ever read.
• She doesn't even go here!
• Somebody ranted that the job board is fixed, but when I click on the link, I only see a test pilot with a bunch of pictures of cars. Someone help!
• Stop at Dairy Queen, sizzurp in my blizzard.
• @Undie Runners, Let's make this happen!! all in favor say aye
• "If we long to believe that the stars rise and set for us, that we are the reason there is a Universe, does science do us a disservice in deflating our conceits?... For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." -Carl Sagan
• That awkward moment when the situation I'm describing isn't awkward at all.
• I'm skipping classes all week to go to Park City, Utah... good life decision?
• I just really want to go home.
• What do you expect from me, mother? I'm half machine. I'm a monster.
• You. Sitting at the computer across from me on the first floor of the library. Stop laughing in bursts like that. Stop it. Stop it right now.
• I had a great weekend doing nothing in particular. I'm satisfied with life.
• please get over Tim McBride's love/social life. Despite its issues, student government actually does some cool stuff
• I'm not happy in my relationship but I don't want to hurt anyone.
• Is today the day I finally tell the girl on the diving team I think she is beautiful? (measures courage)...Maybe tomorrow...
• That moment when he just doesn't get it. Also known as all the time.
• I can't tell if you're trying to provoke a reaction from me or if you honestly think it's okay to act like this. You make it hard for me to want to be around you...
• @Stay At Home Mom: My mother is a lawyer. When I was growing up she was able to cook, clean, parent two kids, and still make 6 figures working part time (3 days a week till 4). Despite what Oprah and Dr. Phil will tell you, being a parent alone isn't worth jack. Parenting is one of the very few thing on this planet that BILLIONS and BILLIONS of people do...Being only a "mom" or "dad" (this issue isn't about gender) and nothing else is, if anything, pathetic.
• Ever just not feel yourself? Like everything that you once defined yourself to be has suddenly all been pushed aside for no apparent reason. Maybe I am just over thinking this, but I thought I'd ask anyway...
• At first it upset me that you were rude to me... but then I remembered that you have a small penis.
• Recent Eagle article said, "All residents were evacuated outside into below-freezing weather for about 45 minutes after two fire alarms were pulled." Last time I checked, buildings were evacuated, not people. If people were evacuated then this story just took on an entirely new and disgusting dimension
• A few weeks ago I was minding my own business in TDR when a guy walks up to the guy standing next to me and yells "HEY RANGOS!". Having never seen Nick Rangos before, but recognizing his name from here, I look over wide-eyed and make eye contact. Twas a bit awkward, and Mr.Rangos looked at me like I was crazy. Haha thanks Rangos creepers for a hilarious experience...
• Swedish World Politics professor, you are very attractive.
• I will give 10 bucks to the Eagle reporter who writes an article that doesnt have to be corrected after its publication. I know you all work for free, but come on. If this is the work of aspiring journalists then I'm not hopeful for the future of journalism. Facts and accuracy matter!
• ADELE! ADELE! ADELE! ADELE! THAT IS ALL
• To the guy in TDR tonight, it may not be appropriate to use your hand to get lettuce to make your salad. Tongs are there for a reason. #TDRFail
• ummm, I would totally try to talk sense into a guy who wants to spend 100 grand on a graduate degree and then be a stay-at-home-dad. I'd rather use the money I saved to make payments on a house. It's simple economics
• @"It's funny how society has become more accepting of stay at home dads than stay at home moms." I hope one day we reach a point where our society values devoted parenting by a dad OR a mom (or any other parental figure), as much as any paid career. That would be the intimate step in feminism.
• @arts appreciation rant: It's nice to be appreciated. Thanks.
• Does no one else see it as a problem when the university spends our tuition to create a blockbuster-esque movie rental system in the library for students to use for free. Ya it's cool and all, but talk about out of control spending. All of those TV show seasons can be gotten for free at any local DC library (like the one by the tenley metro) or better yet, online...
• Why is every grad school option so competitive. ahhh.
• @"It's funny how society has become more accepting of stay at home dads than stay at home moms." So true. I thought feminists supported women being able to do anything men can do. Yet feminists criticize stay at home moms and not stay at home dads. Sounds like feminists are being hypocritical to me by oppressing women.
• I wish life was easier, dating you is getting considerably harder and I think sex would make the whole world go round.
• How will I explain to my parents that I failed college because of eagle rants and reddit!?
• @ I'm not sure if my roommate hates me or not yea. i hate you. i seriously wish you'd just take the hint and stop talking to me. you are the bane of my existence but i am too nice to just be all out mean to you.
• so there's another new fraternity coming to campus? why isn't there a new sorority? seriously, 7 sororities and almost double the number of fraternities for a school that is well over 60% female? how does this make any sense? i wish someone from the eagle would write an article addressing how little sense this makes. i know others as well as myself would be interested in adding a new sorority...
• I'm glad you have the resources to get graduate degrees only to stay at home with your children. But you sound kind of entitled to those of us who don't have the resources to immediately go to grad school and would actually do something with those degrees. Yes, some of it is jealousy. But that's still a lot of money just to feel slightly better about your mothering skills.
• My best friends are abroad and I miss them so much! :( Lonely semester...
• I hate everything.
• Why is literally everyone pissing me off? Hell is other people.
• I've never had more sexual tension in one conversation in my life...
• Can someone tell me why the Davenport constantly runs out of coffee?!?! You guys know it's a coffee shop, right?
• In high school, I chose not to date. Now, I have decided that I would like to experience a relationship. Too bad I get friend-zoned left and right... the amount of friends I've made through dating is both sad and impressive.
• This is going to be the first Valentine’s Day I’ve spent single since freshman year of high school. To make matters worse, I’ll be single because my long-distance, long-time (two and a half years) girlfriend back home decided to dump me - in order to date my best friend. Neither of them has felt the need to show any loyalty or consideration to me, even though I was utterly blindsided and even though I feel utterly betrayed. Yup, Valentine’s Day is going to blow…
• SportsZone is such a fantastic show but that guy second from the left brings it down so much.
• If you bad mouth heavy metal / emo music again I swear i'll strangle you with your lady gaga t shirt...
• If you are going make an AU-related meme, please follow two steps. First, actually know how to use a meme and second, make it funny.
• God most of those AU memes suck
• Did some tool really misuse the Conspiracy Keanu Reeves meme to comment about how his tuition is cheaper in the UK?
• How to tell everyone that I'm secretly dating/sleeping with a 35 year old man and I'm only 21...
• Here's a juicy scandal for all you Eagle Rants readers. I am cheating on my boyfriend. With my roommate's boyfriend... FML
• Just had my first threesome with two chicks at AU. So much win
• @ Bacon Sucks HOW DARE YOU. BACON IS AMAZING. IT CONTAINS CHOLINE, WHICH HELPS FETAL BRAIN DEVELOPMENT. BACON= SMART BABIES.
• whoever said lost sucks clearly has never watched it...
• If my roommate's boyfriend is going to be living with us 24/7, I wish he'd pay rent. And maybe not let his cell phone alarm go off every hour between 5am and 8am.
• Woah! You did not just hate on N*Sync. The Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, and N*Sync were where it was at in the late 90s. Hating on N*Sync and supporting the Backstreet Boys is like hating the Army but Supporting the Marines. Okay, maybe thats not a great analogy, but its the best I have.
• Props to whoever posted the Seussical lyrics. And believe me, someone notices you.
• Let's have more sex. One time wasn't enough.
• I found your blog, after weeks of searching! I was so excited to be able to read it and see if you were talking about me... your blog is password protected. :(
• I don’t get why some people are so shocked that a girl would go to grad school and then be a stay at home mom. That’s probably the path most girls at AU will take, as it is the typical upper/upper-middle class path for women. Those in the upper classes don’t need two incomes because they are plenty confortable with one income. I don’t get what is so shocking about this. It’s not like it’s anything new.
• All my dining dollars are going to pizza bagels!!
• WHERE ARE THE NEW EAGLE RANTS?! [Editor’s Note: Today I actually did just forget. So for the first time ever, I’m actually a little bit sorry]
• For centuries women have gone to women’s colleges in order to meet a man at a brother college and get married and have kids right after college. I don’t get what’s getting people so stressed out about a woman choosing not to work in favor of putting her kids first. The more educated a woman, the better educated her kids will be. We should be praising the idea of going to grad school before being a stay at home mom, not criticizing it.
• @"One does not simply survive phonathon" -- one conquers phonathon
• All girls named Fiona have pretty names, but I only know one Fiona and she's in RHA.
• Why are guys so terrifying??? Stop being so damn attractive!
• The abroad advisers are the worst
• I refresh this page for the daily eaglerants so often in the afternoon that it's getting awkward
• Just become I'm oversensitive doesn't make what I'm feeling any less valid or real.
• I can't tell if you like me or not. I have a boyfriend, and I know how opposed you are to cheating. I think you like me and you won't tell me because you don't want to be 'the other'.
• Clubs are for GDIs.
• POST THE DAMN RANTS! [Editor’s Note: rude.]
• Testing...1,2,3
• WHY DO PSP BIDS HAVE TO GO OUT SO LATE IN THE DAY?? Dying here. DYING.
• Seriously?! IT's 6:38 and the eagle rants STILL aren't up?!
• Dear guy with a crush: For the final time, I am not interested in you. Stop following me around, and please stop always waiting to see where I sit down so you can sit next to me, no matter how awkwardly close you have to get to do so. There's this thing called personal space? Yeah. Respect mine. Ktnx. Understanding that it sucks to have an unreturned crush, you still need to back the hell off.
• Third definition of biddie on urbandictionary reads "anyone who goes to American University in DC". Umm, how did we get labeled as a biddie school? Is this true?!
• 7:09 and still no rants. Seriously? Can we make it so rants appear instantaneously on some sort of rant board? And then if someone writes something inappropriate then other readers can "flag" the rant and it will be deleted. I really can't take this waiting all day for the rants.
• Anyone want to join in on my Annual "buy some roses and light them on fire" Valentine's Day hatefest?
• p.s. editor- that's the second rant I've submitted that was 100 words on the dot :)I appreciate your props! Coming from the Ruler of the Rants, that's quite the compliment.
• Dear Editor, I know that you have a life and all, but could you please get rants up before the Phonathon starts at 5:45? It would be very much appreciated. [Editor’s Note: I usually try to put rants up at 5, today was an unfortunate mental lapse]
Rant here!
