This editor would like to apologize profusely. In between a paper and her capstone, she completely forgot to post Rants yesterday. So sorry, everyone!]
•@UC World Politics rants: When I lived near them last year, they also had ego. I think you all have it worse this year, though.
•Why the hell are people still debating about housewives? Rant about something news! Like Trayvon Martin!
•@Female Scientist: You go to AU for science. No job offers for you.
•That awkward moment when Jizz in My Pants comes on in the Phonathon room and the supervisors blast the music so loud that the prospect hears it and stops believing you're with American University and doesn't want to donate anymore.
•How do the Phonathon kids enjoy their job? All they do is harass people for more donations after paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to come to this godforsaken school. Someone told my mom that tuition only covers 70% of the real experience here and the 30% comes from donations. Dude. We go to one of the most expensive schools in the country. If other schools can be more prestigious and cost less, I'm sure we can too. Till then you're not getting my money, Phonathon.
•To the person ranting about how NASA funding is not worth it, F U. NASA ONLY represented 0.1% of the entire federal budget, whereas we have wasted so much on Obamacare,Medicare Part D, failed education programs like NCLB and Race To the Top, and we give out too much aid to countries like Israel. Manned space exploration was the new frontier that inspired people to become engineers, physicists, mathematicians, etc. I swear, people on this campus really need to sort out their priorities.
•This guy I know really likes me, but I'm actually a lesbian. I'm not out yet and don't want to be. Last night I rejected him for the second time. I don't know if he can take the hint that I'm not interested. What should I do?
•I can think of plenty of jobs that are more important than being a "housewife." Being a "stay-at-home mom" is completely different and understandable. People need to understand that paying more than $200K for a college education is just wasteful and your husband is going to end up picking up your slack since you do not plan on getting a job. PS. Have fun finding a husband who will let you mooch and be happy about it.
•No. I actually don't think housewives are worthy of an AU education. Kids apply here who actually want jobs when they leave and need the prestige AU has to offer. Someone who wants to be a housewife and has no interest in a job can still be educated at a state school or something. Pretentious rich kids at their best throwing money at something they don't need.
•Dear Women who want to be housewives after college, Here's another reason why you shouldn't go to one of the most expensive schools in the country. 1) AU's large gay population. Not dissin the gay community, but have fun finding a husband who is not gay/ugly at this school. Try your luck at a good state school where the male population is still intelligent. There are many friendly men at state schools. Not to mention more straight attractive men. AU has one of the ugliest male populations I have ever encountered.
•I've worked there for two years and I HATE PHONATHON. I HATE ASKING FOR TOO MUCH MONEY FROM PEOPLE WHO ALREADY PAID THEIR SHARE. TO ALL YOU ALUM WHO WANT TO DONATE: DO IT ONLINE. Also, be nice cuz we don't want to call you either. It's just good pay.
•The new Today@AU "targets" its announcements so well. Thank goodness it made sure to include info about Residence Hall Closing under the Students, Faculty, Staff, and Parents sections. That's not unnecessarily redundant at all. (end sarcasm)
•Alright. I appreciate the response to my statement about NASA funding. @ Listen to Neil deGrasse Tyson person... I care about climate change on EARTH. The planet we live on! We do not live on venus! Also, I never thought NASA was a searchin' for ET (a fictional character). I just think climate change/human starvation are more important issues than space exploration.
•I think it's more reasonable to hate on SIS majors. Sucks that they will end up unemployed or working for a non-profit.
•Wow, I am such a wonking idiot. I can't believe how stupid I was. #selfdepreciationrant
•OMG please not the housewife/education debate again... No one cares. Do what you want.
•Why is it so difficult to find a non-work study job? I want to do important work like DC Reads or Jumpstart, but I need to make money. Just because my father makes a lot of money doesn't mean that I'm not responsible for paying for part of tuition, and making my own spending money.
•I should be working on my capstone but I'm so tired from staying up late to work on my capstone. #capstoneproblems
•As someone who also lives closer to Georgetown, I can safely say that I've been to Tenleytown less than 15 times this year. (A lot of those times were for a bus transfer and I didn't actually spend that much time in the area)
•@Anti-Bullying Club- I coouldn't find you/pick out which one was you and didn't want to go up to random strangers.. I'm not really sure what you are suggesting we do though can you elaborate??
•I'm so tired, sheep are counting me.
•Stop hating on other people's majors! It adds no validation to whatever it is you picked. Use your time for other activities besides putting people down.
•@”Eagle Rants make me glad I'm dating someone out of state. So many nasty closet misogynists here.” Eagle rants makes me glad I’m dating a girl out of state. Too many crazy feminazis here who are all talk and not actually problem solvers like my feminist gf.
•@ "My friend gets oral sex and gives nothing in return" - are you kidding me? Do you know how many men expect to get a BJ and give nothing in return? Also, the idea of anything "initiating a contract" does NOT belong anywhere NEAR the bedroom, or sex.
•If you don't love a person anymore, break up with them and give them the chance to find someone who does.
•Please don't tell me Eagle Rants is going to have the stay at home mom debate again... Didn't we finally get over that issue?
•Lol at all the women who want to become housewives. Especially considering that you picked a school with very few options for your MRS, if you catch my drift.
•Hey, stop having your relationship status on Facebook as private. Some of us are curious.
•By the time these rants are posted it'll be 19 days until the day of my last final. I love this school, and I've loved my freshman year, but I can't wait to just relax for a few months. [Editor's note: Oops, sorry. A bit off with the posting. But now you only have 18 days!]
•Blaqk Audio!? Yay another fan :)
•I think I'm breaking up with my boyfriend of two years. Send me good vibes. I think this is what needs to happen.
•Favorite people of the day: the Girl Scouts selling cookies in the SIS Atrium. AWWW YEAH.
•OK, I complain about Subway a lot, but I gotta admit- their meatball subs are pretty tasty.
•I ran out of meal swipes, but since I am too cheap to spend a lot of money on groceries, I have been getting dinner by going to different events on campus. I love that so many events have free food! Maybe next year I will buy a really small meal plan.#freefoodforthewin
•@"Why am I getting fatter the more I work out? this isn't fair"- Most likely because of your diet
•I'm really f-ing sick of waiting for my trust fund. 31 months to go.
•I know group projects simulate the 'real world', but if this was the real world my group members would be punished, fired, or jobless.
•Girl that always wears the bandana... ;)
•Global warming does not actually exist people. Yes, liberals I am saying this to upset you, but in reality it is quite true
•I wish The Eagle would engage in some serious journalism about AU. We are at a university where the Provost has driven out just about every dean there is, and The Eagle is breathlessly "reporting" that someone saw a mouse somewhere and boldly regurgitating IT statements out 50 Macs having a virus. [Editor's note: Have you checked out our coverage of the 40+ laptops stolen this year, the adjunct union debate, our push to get more information from Public Safety on campus crimes, our extensive coverage of the challenges student veterans face or Public Safety gathering social media intelligence on students' activities?]
•@anti-bullying club founder: Can you make it a facebook group?
•I don't even go to AU. I'm an incoming freshman next year. But reading the Eagle Rants are getting me SO excited--from what I'm reading, AU students are SO funny and everyone has something to say! Eagle Rants was my secret way of surveying the my future classmates ;) [Editor's note: Welcome!]
•Signed up to take Honors 101 mentees. Got my Little out of it. #mylifeisrobcoy
•Today while I was texting someone my auto correct changed the word donk to wonk..... I think it's official..... AU is starting to go into our phones to try to enforce the WONK campaign, or to get students to actually like it, either one.
•oh my GOD respond to my texts won't you? let's stop playing games and be a little more straightforward; trust me i can handle it
•Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
•Sweetness... Could they have just a taste Of this beautiful disgrace They'd find you a criminal, delectable. They'd find me intangible, invisible Gone without a trace It's just a matter of time.
Strip for me as I have stripped for you. We've got nothing to hide and we've got less to lose. Strip for me as I have stripped for you. I've got nothing to hide and less to lose.
•Why did my rant about the crying girl in the mudbox get censored? [Editor's note: Deleting an Eagle Rant is not "censorship."]
•i'm sorry, i'm just very weak and need your attention more than you need mine...
•sexsexsexsexsex is what i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed
•I can't wait for finals to be over. but when they are, i have to go home, and be even lonelier there than i am here.
•@ "Everybody stop hating on communications. I've worked harder in my comm classes than I have in any of the social science ones or gen eds that I took." THANK YOU!!!!!!!
•I hate rich kids. They're annoying as sh**.
•Must find the legendary Delta of Zeta Psi??
•If you two don't stop giggling during this morning art class... You're screaming in a silent room. Not cute.
•I just witnessed this PSA in a dorm: “1 in 4 women are raped in their lifetimes!”…are you freaking KIDDING me? This stat is incorrect and useless. It’s based off of one singular study done in America in the 80s, one which has been torn apart multiple times since by practitioners of real science as biased and fatally limited by its miniscule sample size and leading questions. When will women’s rights groups realize that using “facts” like this only makes them seem uneducated, intentionally misleading, or both? Especially when there’s so much REAL data in their favor to use? [Editor's note: Actually, there are a variety of studies that come up with similar statistics. Some say 1 in 4 women will be victims of attempted or completed rape while in college alone. The data is based on victimization surveys with carefully worded questions, which are often much more accurate than looking at the number of reported rapes or data from surveys that directly ask "Have you been raped?" Rape is one of the most underreported crimes in America; thus, surveys that conclude 1 in 4 are often much more reliable than other "REAL" data.]
•Just found The Very Hungry Caterpillar in my salad at TDR
•she is the woman who doesn't love me back she is the woman my heart wants to attack with love with care with snuggles 'n' even teddy bears but she dont love me, oh no she dont tell her how I feel? you know I wont
•tuition went up $2000?? fmllllll [Editor's note: Tuition will rise by 3.8 percent next year, just like it rose by 3.8 percent last year, the smallest increase in 15 years.]
•I think there's something about me that attracts potheads. I don't even smoke it.
•Men make more money then women because we have to take you places on dates! Ever seen how much money a movie ticket is? or dinner at a classy restaurant?
•Dear SIS building, Urinals that don't flush are an intensely misjudged experiment in Green technology. Your bathrooms smell like the underside of the trolls the live under my bed. illiterately yours, Anonymous
•It's my birthday and rants aren't posted yet. [Editor's note: So sorry to disappoint on your birthday! Hope you had a great day!]
•alls I'm saying is that if TDR can make the cookies taste the same every single time, they should be able to give the hummus the same consistency on a regular basis as well.
•How can I not be clingy?
•Anyone have any good advice on getting over a breakup of a 3+ year relationship?
•TDR should just close the Wok for one day, and use the savings to buy some forks. No wonder AU is about to let their contract expire.
•When is "I <3 Female Orgasm" coming back?
•"Well I don’t get why you would go to one of the most expensive schools in the country if all you want to be is a government bureaucrat (or journalist or actor or business-person or communications associate or teacher, etc). Get my drift" False. That makes sense. Being a housewife? Not so much. SOCIETYPROBZ
•Why does karma take so long? How can you get away with this for YEARS on end without any retribution or anyone standing up to you. I keep telling myself your day will come. If there is a god, he will make things just and you will get what you deserve while you are alive and while I can see the justice happen. But alas, it's just waiting...and waiting...and waiting...
•I had a lot going for me, and somehow I just spiraled out of control. HELP.
•I've sat through almost an entire shift at phonathon without new rants =( editor, where are youuuuuuu [Editor's note: So sorry!]
•I am not defined by my past.
•10:05 and STILL no rants? Editor, why are you doing this to us? What have we done to displease you? [Editor's note: Nothing at all, promise!]
•i wrote a rant on here like a week ago about how the Eagle didn't cover my event, and i just want to clarify some things. i would've preferred just no email response, but i was in contact personally with one specific person in the eagle. she said she would write an article, then later told us our event wasn't newsworthy. and I'm not stupid, i know the Eagle takes a lot of work, im in SOC. that reporter couldve lied to me, told me there wasnt any space, not rudely state that my event doesn't matter. sugar coat it for goodness sake, cuz she'll piss other people off next time she says that.
•I think I've decided that scheduling is the most nightmarish way to spend an evening.
•SEX-U-AL SEDUCTION
•I need some advice. I've been thinking about writing to my high school ex-boyfriend (whom I haven't spoken to since we both left for college). I want to apologize for some of the things I did when we were together because I realize now that I wasn't fair to him and sometimes treated him badly. I know if it were me, I would want to receive an apology, but he's a boy so I don't know if he would react the same way. Thoughts?
•in 5 minutes there will officially be no April 19th eagle rants. I demand a new editor.
•Dear Editor, I'm sure you're going to get a ton of **** about not posting the 4/19 rants. I just wanted to say that I don't mind if you had to take a day off, I just appreciate what you do! [Editor's note: This just might be the sweetest Rant this editor has ever read!]
•It seems like every time I post a rant, the rants get posted late or not at all the next day. It makes me think I broke the rants or something :( [Editor's note: My b, not yours!]
•Welcome to the friend zone, we got fun and games.
•Yay! LeCloper is winning RHA's Hall Wars!!
•My heart hurts to miss you like this. Please come back to America and be with me.
•My pee smells like pure coffee. I think this is a horrible, horrible sign
•GET ME OUT OF HELL WEEK. I JUST WANNA SLEEP IN MY OWN BED AGAIN.
•JUST DECIDED TO DO IT. BEST DECISION EVER.
•@"The MudBox has the worst coffee on campus." Clearly you have never had their chai lattes. YES! Chai lattes are the only reason to pay Mud Box prices. Totally worth it.
•Sex dreams about my professor have begun. HOPE HE ISNT MARRIED
•Uhh, I think the editor is lost in the world somewhere. This lack of rants concerns me. :/ [Editor's note: So sorry!]
•What the heck editor... get your act together and freaking post rants [Editor's note: Woah, other people were nice about this editor's total forgetfulness. If they can be courteous, you can too.]
•Editor, I think you might have given people heart attacks by not posting rants. [Editor's note: Probably! Apologies!]
•Is there an eagle rants apocalypse that I am unaware of? WHERE HAVE THE RANTS GONE!?!?!?!
•Marxists these days aren't very dedicated. Che Guevara ran around the Cuban jungle for 3 years shooting people for social justice. The protesters today protested on Neil Kerwin's manicured lawn for all of 10 minutes before evacuating to the Dav for eco-friendly smoothies to cool down.
•RAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT about no rants!
•I was looking for the April 19th rants and I ended up reading last years rants from the same day. It took me way to long to realize this. Feel better soon editor! [Editor's note: Yeah, Rants weirdly overlap.]
•if you're going to close the mud box during finals and advertise free food, there better be free food.
•Someone should really take away my license to pun. Been punning above the legal limit for far too long, I'm a danger to comedy everywhere.
Rant here!
