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Friday, Nov. 1, 2024
The Eagle

Eagle Rants April 23, 2012

•I just facebook stalked everyone I've ever slept with. Now what will I do with the rest of my Sunday?!?

•Everything was so simple and fun freshman year, I just wish I could go back

•It amazes me that I can be an over-achiever even when I'm spiraling out of control.

•Don't you just hate it when one of your Senators gets caught drinking in the residence hall lounge?

•@“It speaks volumes when you refer to males as men and to females as "girls." We're women, thank you very much.” As a female college student, I consider myself a “girl”, rather than a “woman”. I’ll be a “woman” when I’m grown up and married with kids. I still watch Disney movies, play board games, and sleep with my teddy bear. I’m a girl, thank you very much.

•@housewives, your job is not hard: Wow, obviously you don’t have kids (and never should if you think it’s so easy). There is a difference between having kids who survive and kids who thrive. It’s very hard work educating minds to get them into top colleges, homeschooling your kid because he was bullied, cooking gluton free vegan meals every day because your kid has multiple food allergies, giving emotional comfort whenever one of your kids needs to talk, providing positive discipline by using logical discussion and affirmation when your urge is to yell at and punish the kids, etc.

•@”If a girl wants to drink around people she doesn't know, that's fine and that's her prerogative. It's the perpetrators who need to be educated, not the victims or survivors.” Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? It’s like saying, “it’s not the fault of the people who were carjacked for leaving their car in parking lot with the keys in it; we just need to educated the car thieves more”. In law there is a concept of contributory negligence. I suggest you read up on it. – woman who doesn’t put myself in those situations

•@being a housewife is not hard : Please get back to me in 10 years after you grow a brain, have read some basic parenting books, and are breastfeeding every 3 years (per kid). Sure anyone can pop a kid out. But raising emotionally healthy, confident, successful members of society takes WAY more work than any paid job does. Being a good mom is a 24/7 265 days a year job. And using the attachment parenting method (which has shown to lead to the most well adapted children) is extremely time intensive and self sacrificing.

•@girl saying anyone can be a housewife: Please take a child psychology class/life span psychology class to help fix your ignorance. AU has some great ones.

•@”Ummm i should not be graduating. I still havent had sex yet.” No worries, I didn’t have sex until grad school. And I’m so glad I waited for my soul mate.

•Yes a woman drinking around strangers is doing something very stupid. There is no “right” to drink. Stop putting yourself in dangerous situations, if you don’t want to get hurt. [Editor's note: The majority of rape victims were raped by someone they knew, like a classmate, a crush or a friend, not strangers.]

•this is a really silly, superfluous rant but...I HATE drying my hair! HATE it. that's all.

•You're only a freshmen, why are you burning bridges already?

•Beez in the trap= I am always getting money (beez= AAVE for I am always; trap = anywhere you get your money)

•My mom was a housewife. She took care of me, kept my family together. She may not have been behind a desk 9-5, but it was hard work and I have nothing but respect for her. Just because you can't put 'housewife' on your linkedin profile doesn't make it any less strenuous, any less time-consuming, and any less important.

•"I bet you its not even one editor anyway" I bet it's all a conspiracy, and th editor is only pretending to be one person...or maybe the rants editor is Neil Kerwin

•@there are billions of housewives: There are millions of doctors. Is that an easy job too? If parenting is so easy then why are there thousands of scholarly journals worldwide centered around parenting issues/child development/child psychology?

•I’ve been listening to parenting podcasts since I started college and reading parenting books over breaks from school ever since I started college 3 years ago (I want to have babies right after college). Believe me, the amount of material a new mom needs to know about baby health, nutrition, safety, emotional development, IQ, and so much more is way more complicated than anything I have encountered in a college class. And the stakes are much higher. One mistake could leave you with a dead baby. One mistake as a businessman/woman leave you with what, less money?

•@How do Catholic U students view AU students: nice people, very liberal, like to protest, lucky to have a campus located in a nicer part of DC. My bf goes to AU, so I often come to campus. It's a great school. :)

•How do I show my LDR bf I love him without seeming clingy. He calls every 3 days, but I want him to text me every day. But I'm scared if I ask, he will think I'm needy. Advice?

•Editor, I agree with yesterday's ranter about how thankful we are to have had you as editor this year. I know you take a lot of crap from people about when/how you post the rants. But know that in the end you made us very happy. [Editor's note: : ) ]

•I propose a new policy for next year's rants. No talking about feminism and/or rape. Eagle rants has been completely dominated by the same 4 talking points for the whole year. Maybe just open a forum where everybody can endlessly debate about those topics and leave eaglerants for the funny stuff.

•regarding what AU students think of Catholic U: I went there once last year for an event. It was pretty chill. My friend who goes to Catholic is majoring in Medieval studies, which I think is totally baller.

•I'm not going to my graduation ceremony. It will just make me sad to see all the happy families hugging their kids, when I don't have a supportive family like that. Is anyone else not going to graduation or am I alone here?

•I feel like I am spinning out of control and everyone is just watching it happen.

•I'm the original girl trying to win her boyfriend back. The weekend went so well! We are going to take it slow and work on our relationship this summer, but he definitely wants to try again and wants us to be together. Thank you all for the support and advice :)

•I'm going to miss AU so much when I'm gone. My AU years have been the happiest of my life. I love this school. I love this city. I love the professors here. I love the students organizations here. I love the arts events here. I love the food here. Don't make me leave! Can't I just stay an undergrad forever?!?! Please!

•Where are my phonathon cookies???? we worked hard all year and I want cookies

•GIVEEEE ME MONEY

•Dear Person who encouraged me to write to my high school ex, Thank you for the advice! I wrote to him and now I feel much better. He told me he really enjoyed the time we spent together and that I shouldn't feel bad about how it worked out. There is nothing like being absolved of guilt to put some spring in a girl's step. (:

•I really don't think that the people who want more funding for NASA are the same people who characterize health care reform and Medicare as "wastes of time."

•@ Catholic U Student: Personally, I don't particularly think of Catholic U very often except when everyone back home confuses AU for CU. I don't know how they make that mistake honestly. :P

•The freshmen Undergrad Senators need to remember that they have to get REELECTED next year... I'm sick of them talking about everything they're going to do next year, when they've barely done anything this year, and the student body still has to reelect them. Seriously, get over yourselves.

•My ex roommate is a dick.

•Ranter who complained about the 1-in-4-are-raped-stat here. Editor, I like you, but you’re wrong. This stat has been ANNIHILATED over time, it has no validity whatsoever. Examples are legion, but we can start with Dr. Christina Summer’s critique of the study that number came from, or Heather MacDonald’s (both excellent reads). Or with the fact that, as the Pittsburg Post-Gazette reports, even if 90 percent of rapes are unreported, there would have to be between 3,700 and 9,150 assualts at the University of Pittsburgh in 2009 for that number to add up. It doesn’t, editor. [Editor's note: It's 1 in 4 attempted or completed rapes. Also, the studies that critique that study have also been annihilated. And see below.]

•A good man gives credit to others during success and takes blame onto himself during failure.

•And by the way, the reported number of sexual assaults at the University of Pittsburgh in 2009: 4. Again: in order to make the number work for 25 percent on the Pitt campus, we're looking at 3,700 sexual assaults. If there were 3,700 sexual assaults at Pitt in 2009, and only 4 were reported...I don't even know. The number must be false, is what I'm trying to say. Give the two women I mentioned a read, they are much better at explaining/smarter than I. [Editor's note: This editor has read them. Remember, rape is one of the most underreported crimes in the country, so those four reported assaults are very far from the real number of assaults that likely occurred. This editor is doing her honors journalism capstone on this topic and has spoken to so many people — someone from every university in DC — about the topic. They all agree that 1 in 4 is pretty accurate for their schools, based on student surveys and the number of survivors that go to places like the counseling center, the health center and sexual assault services offices.]

W•here on Earth did the Wigley rants go? They were my favorite part of my first semester. Consider me nostalgic. [Editor's note: Mr. Wigley kindly thanked ranters but asked them to please desist.]

•Please tell me I was not the only one freaking out on Saturday morning during the Young Justice season one finale.

•If I had a dollar for every time I felt under-dressed and out-classed at AU...

•I think I was rejected from a summer job in a small town because I listed working for a Jewish organization on my resume. There's no reason that NO ONE in town, not even the hardware store, would avoid hiring me. That's...I...I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach.

•It's complicated between me and my best friend too. Obviously we really like each other, but there are other factors and sometimes it feels like things are just too confusing to sort out right now. Good luck to you!

•Dear Pre Med major: not only are you not a doctor yet, you're not even IN MED SCHOOL. So stop lecturing me and go back to your schedule filled with the same exact gen-eds I'm taking. kay thanks.

•Why does the rants editor always say "this editor"? [Editor's note: Not really sure. It started back when this editor wanted to keep her identity a secret. It feels more appropriate than saying "I."]

•You text me. I respond. I text you. You respond. This the natural circle of textual life. Stop being an aloof, annoying bro and answer my freaking message before I pull some Mufasa antelope scene* craziness on you! *see Lion King movie on VHS

•Your friend has no idea what you're talking about and probably doesn't care about diving. Also, you sound like a commercial and you've told the same story 4 times.

•Sorry bout the creaky bed if it was towards me. I get self conscious about it, then I remember what great sex I'm having. Maybe I would try to avoid the creak if you'd stop slamming your door like you've done all year.

•I got sick of eagle rants about three months ago because of the inane anonymous arguments some people like to stir up on here. I returned today in hopes of enjoying some quality procrastination, only to find that people are STILL ranting over housewives! We get it, you're all very opinionated about this-- if you can't agree to disagree, can you please just move on?

•All of the girls here have such nice skin. Can anyone fill me in on their skincare regimen?!

•Well...if a study says so...then you just have to do it...right?

•What happens if I just don't turn in any of my final projects? I'm thinking worst case scenario is I end up sleeping on a park bench in Farragut Square in 3-5 years. That doesn't seem so bad right now, I like pigeons.

•Wish in one hand...s@#$ in the other. See which one fills up first.

•Wow. I'm liking this club less and less. WHY CAN'T IT BE LIKE IT USED TO BE?!?!

•@@"Blaqk Audio!? Yay another fan" Let's be friends? Sure, could always use another friend ;)

•@I have complicated feelings for my best friend. F*ck. Idk if you are male or female but in any case...don't pursue. Happened to me and she crushed my world and realized I didn't truly know her (even after 5+ yrs). Best of luck on your travels.

•Friend, you broke my heart in a way only friends can.

•I decided in class the other day that I would rather be recovering from my wisdom teeth surgery than sit through another lecture.

•i have to stop living vicariously through my friends. I mean... I am more interested in my roommates love life than my own

•As if my senioritis wasn't bad enough.... created a Pottermore account today.

•Ok: We'll revise it then:"Women, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t want to be treated like men when it’s convenient and then treated like women when it’s convenient. Not fair." Better?

•Stop ranting to the editor about how your rant didn't get published. Go post whatever you had to say on Twitter like everyone else, and get a life.

Rant here!



Section 202 hosts Connor Sturniolo and Gabrielle McNamee are joined by fellow Eagle staff member and phenomenal sports photographer, Josh Markowitz. Follow along as they discuss the United Football League and the benefits it provides for the world of professional football.


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