Editor's note: Eagle Rants will be published every Monday this summer, starting May 7.
•Thank you, God, for USAA
•All I want to do is watch the Pike call me maybe music video. Where is it???
•As finals approach, I realize one very important thing... I don't know anything. Here we go again.
•I just don't want to do any of the things I HAVE to do, and I want to do all of the things I shouldn't be doing right now. Can these next two weeks just go away?
•It's finals time. Can we stop judging people for riding the elevator, no matter what floor they're going to? Maybe they pulled an all-nighter the night before. You'll get to your floor, it'll just take an extra second.
•I have to pee but I really like this song, so I'm gonna wait.
•Stressed out freshmen are so cute.
•Dearest ***hole who stole my phone, GIVE IT BACK OR MY MINNIONS WILL STEW YOU ALIVE. but really, please, it is the cheapest phone out there, and I turned off the service, it is no use to you, please please just bring it to the lost and found...
•Am I the only senior who didn't write a capstone??
•@girl who's not sure if her crush is gay: ASK. I'm a lesbian who everyone always takes for straight, and I would LOVE to get asked out by a girl instead of another boy. Seriously. Do it.
•Some Eagle Rants are so obviously written by freshmen.
•Stay to the right on stairs! It's not that hard to remember!
•The real best kept secret on campus? The best place to poop is not actually the second floor of MGC. Too many people know about it now. As for the real best location? I'll never tell!
•You know what, guy, it is one of the most disturbing things you'll ever hear when you realize how common rape is. What's even worse is when you realize that you know - that you think you're friends with - guys who've crossed the line. It's easy to say that "rape will be punished" when you're picturing the guy who bursts from the bushes. It's hard when you find out two months later that your pal kept going after she passed out.
•I don't think some people are even reading what the editor said.. it read 1 in 4 will be the victim of rape OR attempted rape which many times does not go reported. Oh and silence does not equal consent and one cannot give consent if drunk so those instances would be considered rape as well. I'm not skeptical at all the editor is right on the mark with her facts so maybe everyone else should look into it before bashing her.
•@”It’s the last week of the semester, and you are asking the librarian how to print. Way to be aware of the resources” Some people have their own printers, which is more convenient than having to run to the library every time they need to print. I’ve only used the library printers a few times in my years at AU when my ink cartridges ran out. And PS some people don’t go to the gym either because believe it or not expensive equipment is not necessary to work out. It’s called running outside.
•@”All you proud future housewives are just women who recognize they fall short at life/work and hope to live another life through their child”. Actually I’m an AU alum in my first year of law school at a top 20 school. I’m being recruited by multiple law firms. I have plenty of potential for many different career paths. The one I will choose is mother. My mother was never emotionally there for me when I was growing up, and I’m determined to give my children a different life, one of nurturing, love, support, and a full of family bonding activities.
•I like the “Eagle Debates” idea. But first can we have “Eagle Sex Advice”. SOOOO tired of waiting for a sex advice column.
•@there are other people who need AU for their jobs, unlike housewives: Why is your job more worthy of going to AU than the job of a housewife? You can be a teacher, journalist, businessperson, etc without going to AU. And I need to go to AU because I want to find a husband at AU. I don’t want a state school husband. I want a husband of equal or higher intelligence, and attending the best school I was accepted to is the best path to accomplish that goal.
•Why was my rant about peeing deleted? What rule did it break? [Editor's note: This editor honestly doesn't remember that Rant. Too many bodily function Rants come through each day.]
•@”All you proud future housewives are just women who recognize they fall short at life/work” I suggest you read the book Opting Out by Pamela Stone. It’s about Ivy League educated women who choose the career path of motherhood and how different types of people react to that choice. You obviosuly need education on the subject. It’s a great read, so I hope you enjoy it.
•Accutane is awful for your liver. There are better ways to control acne. Try tea tree oil. The smell is strong but it works well.
•I'm scared we will never talk again after graduation.
•All the people dissing housewives are just jealous of the people who can actually afford to stay home with their kids and be there for all the milestones rather than being stuck at an office being a corporate slave to the rat race.
•@“And I don't know a guy that wouldn't be put off by someone that has been reading parenting books since they were 18, so good luck with that!” Actually I’ve been with my bf for 4 years, but thanks for playing. And I don’t know a girl who wouldn’t be turned off by a guy who puts down parenting, so good luck with that.
•I’ve never used a blow dryer in my life. Hair dries naturally. Why waste your time, money, electricity, etc. and cause noise pollution, heat damage to your hair, etc.
•@”To the people obsessing over parenting books and the insane difficulties apparently associated with keeping another human alive: how do you think we have come this far as a species?” Clearly you didn’t read the rant before that said there is a HUGE difference between keeping a human alive and having a thriving child. Please google attachment parenting and read the associated articles on it.
•@”Reading more parenting books does not necessarily make you a better parent.” Lol ya and reading your college textbooks doesn’t actually make you a better student. Grow a brain please. Learning more about parenting makes you a MUCH better parent.
•@guy/girl who doesn’t appreciate parenting: Have fun being a dead beat dad/mom while you’re wasting away in a nursing home because you never actually put effort into parenting your kids.
•I think Eagle rants editor should be an SG position. The eagle rants editor deserves to get paid at least as much as the student body president. And I'm pretty sure eagle rants editor is a much more time intensive job. [Editor's note: Rants take about half an hour a day, but thanks for the thought!]
•@”All you proud future housewives are just women who recognize they fall short at life/work and hope to live another life through their child, or, in the case of a gold digger, their husband.” Actually I (a female who plans on being a housewive) have my own trust fund, so no, thank you very much, I am not a gold digger. Why do you assume men are the only ones who can have money? Sexist.
•No one remembered my birthday. :( [Editor's note: Happy birthday!]
•I feel scared that I don't care more about getting into grad school. Still not acceptance letters. But I'm okay with that. Maybe I can be a puppeteer or something.
•LDR girl: thanks for the tips. I'll try not to be so worried about being perceived as clingy.
•The housewife debate entertains me. Keep it coming.
•When she was 22 her future looked bright, she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night.
•I'm up for streaking. ;)
•SUM-MER RANTS! SUM-MER RANT! SUM-MER RANT! SUM-MER RANTS! [Editor's note: See top of page.]
•People make the best choices for their personalities. Some girls are very extraverted and would go crazy spending most of their time with just their kids. Some women are more introverted and love the idea of being home in privacy all day and only needing to interact with their husband, their kids, and a few close friends. Everyone has their own reasons for their own preferences. Stop criticizing other people’s life choices, when you don’t even know the person.
•I disagree with the new AU health center article. Why do we need more doctors filing prescriptions for antibiotics and meds that just destroy us in the long run? Just eat your greens, drink lots of fluids, sleep, and de-stress. That's the best advice any doctor could give you and you don't need a prescription for that.
•If anything goes wrong Desmond Hume will be my constant
•Housewives---what do you do/ what value do you have after your children have left the house? With life expectancy increasing, that leaves a lot of years to just...chill
•and i finally make some friends with two weeks left in the semester...
•What do you mean, THE black squirrel? There are tons of them.
•@pottermore account. google it
•Hey, I heard that new cover band Bean Day is pretty awesome. Just saying.
•Speaking of housewives, has anybody been watching Desperate Housewives lately?
•How do I broach the subject of telling the beautiful and beguiling girl I sit next to in class how much I enjoy her company?
•I'm alive, I'm alive, I am so alive And I feed on the fear that's behind your eyes And I need you to need me, it's no surpise I'm alive, so alive I'm alive.
•@crushing on a girl. Cliche but true: you regret the things you don't do, not the things you do. Worst she can say is no, and although that will suck, at least then you'll know.
•Dear ranters of AU, Being a housewife is not an occupation. It is a glorified chore that borders on slave labor. You can be quite educated and still be unprepared for the task of raising children. This is a discussion that has veered into hyperbole(which I am always glad to add to). But quite simply, if you want to debate something then try negotiating the divide between two divorcees and their financial woes. Illiterately yours, Anonymous
•I don't really want to further the debate on this, and I don't have spectacular knowledge about the statistics, but I did want to say - as someone who was raped and did not report it, I can easily believe the 1 in 4 statistic. The majority of the time, when I've told someone about my rape, they responded in kind with their own story. Of course, that's not at all statistically relevant, and because of social stigma surrounding rape victims, I don't talk about it much to begin with. I just thought it might be worthy anecdotal information for anyone interested. (As for more anecdotal information - without any value judgement - I was not drunk, and I knew my rapist very well.)
•My roommate constantly asks me to leave the room so she can call her older brothers. I overheard her once, and she was just smack talking me the whole time. If she has a problem, I wish she would say something to me instead of talking to other people, so I can't fix the issue. Do I say something to her, or does she have the right to kick me out? I feel like it's kind of rude-- if you're going to talk about someone, at least do it when they're not around. it feels like she's throwing it in my face. Thoughts?
•Ok people. 1 in 4 rape/attempted rape statistic is not that crazy. It is not something women advertise but I know many people who have had scary attempted rape situations and I know people that have been raped. 1 in 4 is NOT a surprising statistic.
•I PITY THE FOOL that still drinks bottled water. IT HAS MELTED PLASTIC IN IT! EWwwwWWwwWwwW
•If one more girl tans in a bikini on the quad. IMMASLAPABISH It's not cute. Don't you feel awkward when the tour group walks around you?
•So glad I did not rush a sorority. Then, like, I would have to get like, a PR or marketing major, like, no thank you.
•I just love guys that enjoy going down.
•When I see your face, it makes my giblets itch.
•To the nice woman that shared her umbrella with me as we waited for the South Side Shuttle, you made my day and made me realize why I love AU.
•Until today, I was taking something really good in my life for granted. Not anymore.
•@Kitchen guy: I agree, I don't know the first thing about interior decorating or sandwich making, let alone dealing with crying children. If I can't find me a housewife for a mate, I'm sure as hell not having kids.
•I'm really fed up with having to do everything for everybody else. If I don't take care of something, I know it won't get done. And I can't just sit by and watch something not get done because then it reflects badly on everyone.
•I love how people care SO much about where their AU sweatshirt comes from. Slave labor.
•We used to hook up a lot and were really close. I'm pretty sure we were best friends too. Now we don't talk for various (but valid and right) reasons and honestly I'm relieved. I trusted you more than anyone. We had really hot sex (great angry sex when we fought) and we both had this weird but undeniable draw towards one another. Never thought I'd get over you. But I did. I don't even find you even slightly attractive anymore. I wish you no ill-will and the best of luck in your endeavors. As long as those endeavors are nowhere near me or my significant other.
•To all the people hatin on housewives, remember the best brownie/cookie you ever ate in your entire life. Now tell me, was it made by a "housewife"? Owned.
•I am so sick of the Global Scholars acting like they are better than the rest of the Honor's students. The Global Scholars program is a load of BS.
•Seriously, this school has the weirdest, most annoying and pretentious students I've ever met. But, for that 2 percent who are actually normal people-- you're what makes this worth it!
•Yesterday's description of the AU Library was so hilariously spot on that I laughed out loud on the quiet floor, causing the table of sorority girls next to me to take a break from their pinterest scrolling and give me a collective dirty glare.
•I will totally streak for world peace or women's rights or equality or whatever with you spontaneous ranter!
•Hakuna matata my fellow ranter and new best friend! Remember, if you ever feel alone look up at the sky at the great kings of the past that will always be there to guide you.
•thank you simplistic ranter for telling it like it is because my week definitely SUCKED some major popsicle sticks too.
•another feminist rant here: Did anyone catch this week's Newsweek cover story about how feminist women actually desire to be sexually dominated by men. As a feminist woman myself, I do agree with this at least for my own tastes. What do other feminists think? Do you like being dominated in bed?
•Please stop debating anonymously. It accomplishes nothing.
•Head to the Letts Formal Lounge today, Wednesday April 25, to donate blood at the Red is in the Rainbow blood drive! The blood drive strives to raise awareness of the FDA's gay blood ban. Can't donate? Come out anyway to voice your opinion!
•Looks like I'll be flying solo again this week, but it shluod be the last week of that. My ladies are excited about coming down, but we don't want to get Lindsey hurting.And I'm SOOO excited about Andrea's 25th birthday. What an exciting time! I can't wait until I turn 25!
Rant here!
