• @"My roommates just caught me coming out if the bathroom with my phone, and they definitely think I was sexting." Everytime you go to the bathroom, take a picture of whatever you left in the toilet. In fact, go around to various bathrooms and take pictures of other peoples messes. Then when your roommate sneaks a peak at your phone, they'll think you have a scat fetish. They'll never bother you again. Problem solved. Thank me later.
• I literally cannot with you biddie, do you know what they call you behind your back?
• @ "can’t win on the merits, so just talk over everyone. Really sad that this is what your party has become." Uhhh... I assume you're a Republican if you're directing this to Democrats, so I have two words for you: GLASS. HOUSES.
• I would like to propose a new law: every college campus should have a Wawa and/or 24-hour diner.
• I miss my family and friends from home so much :(
• That feeling when you run AU Memes and you meet the Queen of the Quad.
• dear neighbor, hearing about your latest sexual conquests are very amusing. and no, i don't mean 'hear' as in sex sounds. i mean 'hear' as in hearing you recount to to your buddies every single detail.
• @how much can a girl text you: ummm if he calls you every night, then he's into you
• You got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat Listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street Open up your eyes, open up your ears Get together and make things better, by working together
• To the cute boy who is studying abroad in China next semester, please don't leave :(
• I know I just made out with you twice... hut I still feel nothing and have a hard time looking at your face. I feel like a horrible person and I have no clue how to tell you without hurting your feelings. but at the same time, this cant go on.
• "Cas, buddy, I need you." DEAN NEEDS CAS EVERYBODY ELSE GO THE F*CK HOME. I GIVE UP. oh my god
• I am terrified that I'm going to fall in love with you and you'll break my heart.
• I love watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but only for Willow and Tara. I actually kind of think that Buffy herself is really annoying. I think I'm doing this wrong.
• Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo.
• I can see a lot of life in you, I can see a lot of bright in you, and I think that dress looks nice on you.
• I for one do not believe that nice guys finish last. I have more faith in women as a whole than that. Obviously there's more to it than something that simple, but I am who I am, and I'm pretty much certain that I'll be able to find a good girlfriend out there eventually.
• You know what really pisses me off about republicans? The fact that they think they should have the right to tell me what I can and can't do with my own body. I think it is the worst kind of bullsh*t to tell an adult that she can't have the right to decide to have an abortion; even if you don't believe in it personally, I don't think anyone should have the right to make other adult's decisions for them.
• Even if the blood thing was fake, it was kind of entertaining, so thanks editor :)
• I just want someone to love me, really really love me.
• I have watched a man fall from the heavens and touch the sound barrier. It was the most glorious thing I have ever seen.
• I never use the washing machine on my own floor because my floormates are douchebags who leave their clothes in the machines. Meanwhile, no one on the floor below me never seems to be doing their laundry.
• No idea how to react to someone liking you when you don't like them back. #nerdproblems.
• Uh, wow, the first rant from yesterday gave incredibly sh*tty advice. Be completely patronizing and when that doesn't solve anything, break up with him. That's sure to be successful. She made it clear that she loves this guy and is trying to make it work. Your best bet is to say to him exactly what you ranted to us, and make it stick. You just need to make him aware of the problem without being judgmental (no one is perfect), and if he’s as good as you make him sound, then he’ll make an effort to change.
• Funny how there is a feud going on within the AU Student Government. Yet, no one i reporting on it, let alone have even heard about it.
• Such a nice day to have my window open, too bad the guy smoking outside of my window ruined it.
• the sporty spice barista at the dav is my favorite
• @Dear all democrats. When Republicans are rude and interrupt, they're doing great. When Democrats act the same way, they are rude and disrespectful. This is why I can't take you GOPers seriously
• If I were you I probably wouldn't forgive me, but I really hope you do.
• Ladies! Please don't overdo it on the perfume. I shouldn't be able to smell you from down the sidewalk.
• Chesty, give me honor so that I can see what is right, and courage so that I can act.
• Ello, 'ello, 'ello, hello white America, assassinate my character Money matrimony, yeah they tryna break the marriage up Fifty points to whoever gets the reference
• @boyfriend gets aggressive during sports games: Get the hell out of there if you can. If you try and tell him he's being unreasonable, he might get worse. Avoid him on game days
• Does Team Lesbian have meetings? Is there a clubhouse? Lipstick lesbians ASSSEMBLEEEEE
• I need a friend with benefits (female), who's interested ;)
• I feel like right now I'm that person in the library playing my music too loud through my headphones, but I could care less. This week has be rough.
• TROLL IN THE LIBRARY, TROLL IN THE LIBRARY. Thought you outta' know. Oh wait, never mind that's just my ex-boyfriend.
• "That is part of the beauty of literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from everyone. You belong." - F. Scott Fitzgerald
• To the liberal imperialists who overrun this campus: your hearts bleed only for countries where US hegemonic influence is weak and wants to expand. Save us your crocodile tears and your freedom bombs. You can still pursue a life of selfish careerism and privilege like your conservative counterparts. Just don't do it on our backs. Regards, The World (minus America)
• Transitioning from lybunts to fdll is so depressing #talesfromphonathon
• Floorcest? Underrated activity
• Is it weird I don't feel homesick at all (and I'm a freshman)? I feel like most people are, but I'm fine with just staying at AU even during breaks.
• Damn you!!!! I can't stop thinking of you. And I shouldn't because it would never be anything serious, just fun.
• I'm afraid I'll lose my friends if I ask them for help. But I keep dropping hints and no one realizes that I am more not ok than they think.
• How do you tell a guy you aren't interested in them without lying or sounding like a jerk?
• I masturbated while my roommate was in the room and they didn't notice. so proud
• Lol GOP keep hating on Joe Biden, you guys all know he's right on the money in the end.
• leggings are not pants #stayclassy
• So Romney interrupts both the president and the moderator and his performance is solid (despite all the lies and whatnot). Then Biden interrupts Ryan and what? he's a disrespectful douche? WHAT IS UP WITH THESE DOUBLE STANDARDS!?
• Honestly I was disappointed with the pres for letting Romney get away with so much during the first debate. Though I didn't agree with MR's policies, and despite the lies, he was clearly prepared to play politics and he won the debate.If you think Biden got away with too much on Thursday, you should be pissed at Ryan. He's the one that could/should have done something abou it.
• Why is my roommate such a slob....seriously. She never cleans up and is such a slob...it's kind of disgusting. It would be nice if she cleaned up ONCE. But there's no point in telling her to because that's a way she has been like her whole life.
• Welcome back to campus, errybody. It was lonely and terrible with you all gone.
• Couple on the 3rd floor of MGC-please refrain from making out there. I understand that you want privacy, but even there, it is not always private, and I need a place to study without seeing your private/public displays of affection. There ARE other places. For example, I'm sure the basement of Beeghly would be sufficiently deserted at this time of night.
• If you want a iced dirty sugar free chai with pumkin and skim milk and your class is at 10:20, don't come into the dav at 10 am with a line and glare at the barista
• That awesome moment when you're bummed about mondays then realize its aplha sig tie monday day. <3
• When your boyfriend takes you home for fall break and you're watching zombie movies with his parents at 9:30pm and he's doing homework in the other room. Yolo.
• Went home with my boyfriend to Jersey for fall break. Went on one of these infamous "hayrides". Got attacked by masked men in a cornfield. Not at all what the sorority girls at AU led me to believe would happen.
• A: "What kind of pumpkin should I carve?" B: "You should carve two pumpkins, an Obama pumpkin and a Romney one." A: "Why not just Obama" B: "So you can have the satisfaction of smashing a pumpkin and Mitts face."
• Why are the dav staffers all so attractive, twins with long red hair?! Swoon.
• It hurts me so much that I'm unattractive. I'm obsessed. Every time I start feeling happy, I remember how ugly I am and I'm on the verge of tears again.
• To the girls complaining about lack of cute guys- you're probably not cute either
• I'm ready to move off the grid permanently.
• Dear guy I like, I know you sucked in bed but let's try again.
• I'm a shy guy and I wish it was more acceptable for girls to ask guys out
• I want us to be something, I really do. I just can't tell if you do too.
• If the truth was I could do, then I guess that I have lied.
• Tsk tsk tsk.
• YOU SUCK EDITOR!
• aljsdllthrajk WHERE Da Rants at?!?!?!
