• "It's never too late to put your pride aside and apologize.": I hear you. I've been hoping my ex would apologize for awhile, but I've made my peace with the likelihood that she won't.
• @ranter too depressed to go to class: I was in this position in high school. want the quickest fix? go for a run. I don't care if you're not a runner. just do it anyway. 20 minutes. break a sweat. the endorphins will cause a rush of serotonin which will jolt you out of your depression. rinse and repeat as necessary. you can do this! please report back that you have tried it. i'll keep asking until you do. ;)
• I love, love, love AU.
• I'm attracted to pregnant chicks. kinky enough for ya?
• "So. . . who's into some really, really f'd up sex stuff?": if you're looking for a straight male, let me know!
• I'm scared if I get fat my bf won't love me anymore.
• I try so hard to impress you, but no matter what I say you always end up making me feel dumb.
• I don't go to classes because I'm horribly depressed and I don't know how to face this.": I feel you, I'm going through something similar. I've missed almost an entire semester of one. For the others I've started just forcing myself out of bed in the morning to go to class. It's really hard but I feel amazing once I've done it!
• re depression: Read the book The Science of Happiness by Stefan Klein PhD. Understanding the science of depression helped me get past it much better than listening to well-intentioned friends list of slogans of support. At least skim through it or read a few chapters of it. It's not super science dense. But it's also not a fluffy shallow self help book. Good luck.
• "I'm fairly certain I'm in love with you and can't wait to tell you": I really hope this is for me :-)
• I'm super excited about the singularity. Any other singularity enthusiasts out there?
• "Live and let live. Love is love. Open your mind and heart.": Thanks for that. My heart and mind are open. I just don't want her to hurt him the way she hurt me. It's up to them of course, I just hope she's in a better place.
• To whoever praised the Bro Code, you rock! AU guys are seriously violating it!
• "alrightttt red lets play": Hahaha what are you talking about?!
• Editor, what's the sitch with rants over Thanksgiving break and Christmas break? [Editor’s Note: Not sure yet, I’ll let you know]
• Do guys always secretly want to have sex with lots of girls even when they are in a relationship? Even the good guys who would never cheat, do they just repress the desire but the desire is always there?
• @"Please don't leave me. I don't think I can live without you. . .": I'm so sorry that you're going through this pain. Is been where you are. Whatever happens, know that it does and will get better. Surround yourself with people who love and cherish you.
• @I barely know you but I am ridiculously attracted to you: if this is who I think it is, the feeling is mutual. What's the first letter of your first name?
• I want a dream lover, so I don't have to dream alone.
• @Hey thanks a lot :( re my guy friend liking my ex: Pretty sure that whoever answered this isn't who I was talking about. . .
• Urghh when did asking girls out get so hard?
• "I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?" Really late, but 10 Things I Hate About You. :)
• @Sorry but from the way that response was written, I can tell you're not the person.": Bummer! I wish you well with your ex! Have you considered just reaching out to him directly? It can't hurt!
• @"What did I give you for your b-day? (so I know it's you)": A beautiful book and bag of candy.
• @"Put your pride aside and apologize" Don't think we're related in any way but AMEN. We are in the same boat.
• "Why doesn’t SG create a Men’s Initiative if we already have a Women’s Initiative? Aren’t both sexes equal?" YEAH! AND WHICH MONTH IS WHITE HISTORY MONTH?
• Just gotta keep reminding myself: Thanksgiving is almost here. Almost free.
• Ooooooh don't even pretend like you didn't downgrade. How sad. Tee. Hee. Hee.
• The chubby girl in front of me is looking at food on tumblr in class lol
• @Kink Visibility-- SO TRUE! Other colleges/campuses have a much more pronounced kink community. You should definitely start a kink club or something--I bet lots of people would join and let their freaky flags fly!! :)
• fffffffffffffffffff am i jealous of everyone seeing macklemore tonight
• learning about "the rhythm method" as a way of not getting pregnant in the McDowell 5 lounge. Good times.
• Why is the ketchup always gone?
• the lack of kink visibility? Isn't there that leatherboys workshop in the spring?
• i hate roofies
• @God dammit every single time we're: I wonder who your talking about? Cause I feel the same way about someone.
• lolz i had 6 of my rants published yesterday
• @"Why the hell do all those hipsters smoke cigars nowadays?" It's worse than that. They smoke cigarillos.
• @ "How do I swallow semen without gagging or throwing up? I promised my bf I would do it for him on his bday, which is this week." Put it on a donut. But really, don't swallow it, make him snowball. Then see is if he wants you to swallow again.
• @ That moment when you’re naked in bed with the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You mean your right hand, Jill?
• I don't want this semester to end because I don't know if I'll ever have a class with you again. Sigh*
• @Nervous crush: Oooh, who's the lucky person? Details please. ; D
• Girl who was sitting in the chairs of the silent floor wearing the plaid shirt and sweater, you are very, very attractive.
• @HIMYM ranter: EXACT SAME SITUATION!!! But I am so happy with my "Marshall," I hope that's the case :) Hashtag awesome. *draws hashtag sign*
• just when things are really looking up, all my old insecurities hit me again. i guess i couldn't expect to be that happy forever. the bubble done popped.
• @ person with a crush on "JS"- as a girl with those initials, I am selfishly going to tell you to go for it as I'm sure every "JS" out there would ;) haha but seriously, good luck!
• @meeting infront of SIS 1145: If this is for me, I read this too late…so sorry. Re schedule?:
• How about Thursday night at 10:30?
• To the really cute tan guy I always see at MGC or TDR and checks me out occasionally, you should say hi to me next time ;)
• #TheThirst for ROTC guys.
• So me and my Asian friend have really bad #YellowFever. Any takers?
• @"Be a real bro and make this gay relationship happen." Any more hints as to who you're referring to…?: Want me some D, no pun intended.
• When it's November and there's suddenly A LOT of hot guys on campus. #AUGOGGLES
• Hey Eagle, seems like the majority of these ranters need some help with their lives. Ever think of starting up an anonymous advice column?
• dear otherwise decent person in my class: stop. muttering. this is a discussion course. if you have something to say about the content being discussed, raise your hand and say it. i am annoyed that i sit next to you and you mutter slightly in my direction. i think your whispered side comments are very aggravating. you sound very sure of what you're saying when you mutter it, and it's usually on-topic for the course, so just say it aloud and contribute to the conversation. speak up or shut up.
• Dear users of women's public restrooms, particularly in Ward: IF YOU SPRINKLE WHEN YOU TINKLE BE A SWEETIE AND OH MY GOD JUST WIPE THE SEAT IS IT SO HARD PLEASE HAVE A SHRED OF HUMANITY. (note: the same issue may very well exist in men's public restrooms, however, as i do not frequent them, i have no idea.)
• Hey boy, take a chance. Tell me how you feel.
• I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque Du Soleil ever had.
• That beautiful RA was working one of the Southside desks at like 11 tonight. He is so attractive. All the girls know it.
• Why are you meddling? Leave me out of it.
• I give up on the possibility you told me we had within the first month of knowing me.
• RE: So…who’s into some really, really f’d up sex stuff? I'm into bestiality, scat, rim jobs, and feet. I also like having a guy f*** me while I f*** my girlfriend.
• I just got friend-zoned again. Seriously, F*** this. I think I've given up on the girls here.
• @Wants bf's bestie to rape her: Never forget, rape is awful. Coming from a survivor, it hurts when your experiences are negated. However, it's not uncommon or wrong to have rape fantasies. Many people like to incorporate control and/or violence into sex, and as long as you're consensual, and know the risks (and how to prevent them), it's okay. Don't go overboard, but take time to research rape fantasies, rough sex, consent play, safe words et al, and see if there's more to your feelings than the desire for non-committal cheating (the desire for that is also normal).
• For real, if you talk about people you think are cute on here or who you saw the other day and etc. and make it vague, just do us all a favor and start giving minor details. THAT way, a million people won't respond to your vague rants in the hope of getting laid.
• She doesn't care. None of us care.
• @birthday bj swallow help Just do it- it's all mental, and once you get past that, you'll actually enjoy giving bjs. Sincerely, A
• Oh, hello cute Jacobs desk boy. Keep on making my day.
• Argh there are so many girls that I like who I feel may like me but who are also all friends, with one another. Why is life such a struggle?
• Hey, admin of the LAL knockoff. Your explicit content filter is too strong. I tried to say "embarrassing" but it turned it into "embar bootying".
• why is my roommate so disgusting
• I had really hoped for my rant to be posted, get some anonymous advice on here. What do I do if I'm in love with a guy I've never met? And we haven't talked, and every time I build up the confidence to talk to him, ITS ALWAYS THE WRONG TIMING? I’m dying for the day we will meet. I ignore all other guys because I do this to myself--obsess over strangers when I have literally a world of guys at my feet. It’s torture, but can I help who I’m attracted to?
• i don't care about my grades anymore oh well
• @ I just wanna go on a date: there are a select group of gentlemen into the little things. We are hard to find. We are elusive. We are the ones your mother warned you about, a society of gentlemen with a compelling appeal. Be on the lookout and if you play your cards right, you may be in for the date of your life...
• Based on the amount of anonymous cuddle-seeking ranters, I think the campus could benefit from a giant "cuddle puddle". Google it.
• My LDR bf (who is deciding if I am worth staying with) is visiting this weekend. What can I do to convince him our LDR is worth it? I'm already going to cook amazing food, give amazing bjs, and wear sexy lingerie. Anything else I could do?
• If he's a Senator, he's a "public figure," Editor.
• THIS IS CALLED THE SILENT FLOOR FOR A REASON. SERIOUSLY SHUT THE F8CK UP.
• to the boy i met in the dav today: you are adorable and smart and it was lovely having a conversation with you! i hope i see you on this weekend and again after because you just made my whole week.
• @ Tavern is inefficient: I don't know, the equivalent at my grad school is far worse.
• Tonight is going to suck. I hate using statistical computer software.
• I watch your stuff at the library, you buy me a coffee? Sorry, I'm delirious.
• Q: How many poles do it take to put in a light bulb? A: One to hold the bulb and 5 to turn the chair.
• Barely know this fellow, but I think he's cute, pretty nice, and want to get to know him. Go for it and ask if he wants to go on an outing sometime, or let this die a silent death?
• College + raging hormones + internet - LAL - CollegeACB = Retreat to Eagle Rants
• @i distrust the blacks: Yea, you justttt can't tell the article of clothing is dirty or not..rough life.
• @I barley know you, but I am ridiculously attracted to you: I'm in the same situation.
• @Smoking Hot Guy. <3333
• @ "How do I swallow semen without gagging or throwing up? I promised my bf I would do it for him on his bday, which is this week. I don’t want to offend him by gagging when it happens. Help?" Honestly, guys normally don't care. If you have to gag, gag. Also, try to swallow as it comes into your mouth so you don't have a huge mouthful of it.
• @"I barley know you, but I am ridiculously attracted to you" Well, I oats know you
• @"Uggs she has a bf already. It is time for you to move on -- to me!": Hahaha uhm so you're friends with my ex and you want to date me?! What is the first letter of my ex's first name? (so I have a better sense that you know who I am.)
• That awkward moment when you say, "I think I'm a shopaholic," and everyone agrees with you.
• I don't care what floor you're on don't answer your phone in the study areas. Its rude and distracting. Take your conversations outside or into the stairwells.
• those depressing times when your too sad to even rant about it on eagle rants
• Rant To Myself: What the hell were you thinking? You couldn't get a girl like that in a billion years. You suck.
• While I was watching Parenthood on Hulu, I was thinking how jealous I was of Kristina for having cancer because now she gets to have a super attentive husband who puts her first all the time. My boyfriend barely answers any of my texts. He says he loves me but he certainly doesn't show it. #dyinginside
