• @"Go for it and ask if he wants to go on an outing sometime, or let this die a silent death?" In the immortal words of sports fans, "DOOOOOOO ITTTTTTTT!"
• @"Q: How many poles do it take to put in a light bulb? A: One to hold the bulb and 5 to turn the chair." Q: How old is that joke? A; Adam told it to Eve just to break the ice.
• sex is gross
• @there are a select group of gentlemen: slightly creepy sounding, slightly interesting. i would say those type of guys are extremely elusive. then come with me one weekend. (;
• I like you. You light up my day and I loved talking with you. You have a boyfriend but you told me how he cheated. You don't deserve that! There are 7 billion of us guys out there, most of whom would never cheat. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. Don't settle for him! You could be with a guy who cherishes you and would never hurt you!
• He still loves you. Talk to him.
• @ the feeling is mutual. Do you? Do you really think you know who I am? Please god I hope it's you. Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine. ; )
• I'm very quiet and lonely. If you see someone who seems very quiet and lonely, please talk to that person! I would like a friend.
• @ so you're friends with my ex: I don't even really know A. but I already think your ex is cray cray. If this applies to you, well, sorry?
• My boyfriend always knows how to make me feel better... why can't he be closer?
• The truth is that yes, sexual attraction towards other girls is there, but it's competing with a much stronger desire to be faithful, and it doesn't have a chance of winning out. I still find other girls sexually attractive, but I don't want to have sex with them. Does that make sense?
• This place makes me feel ridiculously lonely. I can't seem to find a nice guy who I'm attracted to. -IguessI'mnottheirtype
• Drone strikes rule, SIS kids drool.
• all you sexually frustrated ranters out there...hahahaha. i know i shouldn't be taunting you all, because i was you not long ago, but HAHAHAHAHA. i have awesome sex all da time! and a super awesome bf. soooo, i guess hold out for someone you click with? until then, lolol you so awkward- it's great. enjoy this time of life.
• Yes guys still think about having sex with other women even when they're in a relationship. It's easy to repress and it isn't anything serious, but if I guy tells you that he's never even thought that another girl looked hot and that he'd want to have sex with her while he was dating you--he's lying.
• @"do guys secretly want to have sex when in relationship": if you're talking about sexual attraction, then yeah, its not like that reaction goes away. the point of a relationship is recognizing that there is something important about your significant other that makes it worth ignoring any sexual attraction to others.
• hitting that point in the semester where i stop caring and start avoiding everyone i know. sorry i'm a bad friend, guys.
• "#TheThirst for ROTC guys." Ugh I know. There's some innocent looking blonde kid in rotc that I want to corrupt so badly.
• @ Worst Cirque De Soleil member- I knew I should've hired Barry Zuckerkorn he's very good!
• Dear best friend who has chlaymdia, It could happen to you too. You never know. You should be a little kinder and not be such a jerk.
• I just want to repeat last weekend with you over and over again.
• and i just want to tell you it takes everything in me not to call you and i wish i could run to you and i hope you know that every time i don’t, i almost do...
• This really never happens, you can take my word, I won't apologize, that's just absurd.
• That awkward moment when you realize the Human Instrumentality Project would help so many Eagle Ranters. Meanwhile before you started trying to apply it to people, it made little to no sense.
• Considering the amount of sexually frustrated girls on this campus and my financial situation, I'm seriously considering whoring myself out. I mean, I'm an athlete...and cute according to my lady friends...sooooooooooo is that something the female AU population would be interested in? Any takers? No strings attached!
• I will admit I'm one of the whitest white boys out there, and I know I'm not some poser cracker, but Macklemore was incredible. Freaking awesome show!
• I miss talking to my roommate from last year. I feel like she doesn't even remember that we used to be good friends :( Do you remember our friendship C.P.?
• But actually, do more than like 3 people want to try speed dating? I think it's a good idea and can't hurt...
• @No recognition for being nice: I feel the same. I ALWAYS make a point to be as polite as I can be, for the same reasons you stated. Last week someone acknowledged it, and it felt so awesome. It's worth it- don't give up or change for a lack of recognition. It'll happen.
• Just a quick question, why aren't the guys at AU more outgoing? Like if you like a girl, go up and ask her out. I'm soooo tired of waiting for y'all to make the first move!
• My three least favorite types of people are needy people, hypocrites, and people who think they're better than everyone else. You are a needy hypocrite who thinks she's better than me. Do the math.
• So my RA is kinda sexy...too bad he probably doesn't even notice me :(
• the moment when you think your an alcoholic and its only been your first semester
• For the person who responded to the Women's Initiative comment that there should be a Men's Initiative and also asked when is White History Month...que?
• Slam dunk the funk!
• The Hughes RAs and DRs are severely underappreciated. Seriously, redhead guy, we should get to know each other ;)
• You sound like a dying hyena! Please stop smacking the wall and laughing/shrieking at almost one in the morning! Some people are trying to sleep!
• Why don't you ever notice me and why when you finally do notice me are you talking to literally every person in the world but me? This is so unfair.
• @people keep stealing my food
• @"Want me some D, no pun intended." Assuming you mean the guy's name you're talking about starts with a D, (and mine doesn't) that's sucks. But I'm also in the need of some D (the body part). And I'd think you'd like mine. How do you feel about some D from a guy named M?
• @"into bestiality, scat, rim jobs, and feet. I also like having a guy f*** me while I f*** my girlfriend.".....I'm so horny I actually considered maybe you weren't being sarcastic, cause I love rim jobs, and f***ing you while you f*** your girlfriend sounds so incredibly hot to me. Please humor me and rant that maybe that last part is a viable option...?
• I don't care if we just got knocked out of the rankings and our library is even worse than yours... I'm still glad I chose GW over AU.
• CollegeACB is still around, it's just CollegiateACB now. Be warned, it's a cesspool of drama/gossip
• @"For real, if you talk about people you think are cute on here or who you saw the other day and etc. and make it vague, just do us all a favor and start giving minor details. THAT way, a million people won’t respond to your vague rants in the hope of getting laid." AMEN!
• Since when did it become okay to completely ignore texts from someone? I think 6 hours is more than enough time for you to check your phone and give a one word reply. #inconsiderate
• I hope the producers of "Red Dawn" know that they could have called the movie "Thor vs the North Koreans" and made like a gazillion dollars.
• @sexy lingerie girl: look, I know it's not my place, but if he's trying to decide if he wants to stay with you, he's already moved on. In the best case scenario and you change his mind, he will expect that stuff from you each time he sees you. An LDR is stressful enough as it is. Save yourself the heartbreak and move on.
• @I wonder who your talking about? Well, I'm a girl ranting about a guy who lives on my floor if that helps...
• Well that was interesting and more informative than expected... but, like, what do I do now? That didn't change anything. But I'm scared it will.
• So many girls on here rant about practically BEGGING for their SO's to say that they're "worth it"- I just want to urge you to do yourself a favor and realize that you ARE worth it, and to give your love to someone who will recognize that instead of wallowing at a jerk's feet. Remember that as a woman you have just as much power to choose your partner as they do to choose you.
• Is it normal to have the urge to browse through baby clothing websites after sex? Does anyone else do this? It must be something about the oxytocin released at orgasm that triggers my mothering urges.
• Last night I got stuck while working on using R software for my Biostats homework. I asked my Computer-Science-major flatmate to help me. Cue an hour and a half of total gibberish while he tried to teach me to code my own programming. Five minutes after he left, I figured what I was supposed to do, which had absolutely nothing to do with what he'd been showing me. It took me twenty minutes to do it from there. FML.
• Everyone who's complaining about SG supporting minorly raised tuition- you're the same people who think we can lower taxes without cutting government programs, aren't you? Money doesn't grow on trees, and YOU don't go to Harvard- we can't lean on endowment.
• I really want to start a band, really any genre but country is fine with me. Any takers? ~Singer/guitarist/screamer
• Going abroad in the spring will be awesome but I can't imagine not seeing you every day
• @ Hows 1030 on thursday?: can we make it after the break. I'm leaving early.
• If you want to be a part of something, make amends where amends are due.
• Great. So we all have a ton of kinks and wacky sex interests. Someone smart figure out how to match everyone up so we can all get off...
• Why am I so bad at making conversation!??! OH MY GOD, JUST SAY WORDS PEOPLE CARE ABOUT. Puppies. Sunshine. Pie. Apples. Candy. World peace. Sharks.
• If blacks have dirty clothing, maybe they should wash it periodically.
• I've never ever been so happy in a relationship
• "YEAH! AND WHICH MONTH IS WHITE HISTORY MONTH?" Every month apparently.
• @Do guys always secretly want to have sex with lots of girls? Is that even a question? Of course, even four star generals need to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. I love my girlfriend but if someone offered you a free ride in a Ferrari, no strings attached, I think it would be hard not ride it till the wheels fall off.
• This kid is looking at brand new BMWs and Audis to buy on his laptop in class. Nothing like feeling seriously outclassed to start my day.
• But there's no drug around, quite what I found...you.
• @All you whining dudes, seriously the ratio is in your favor every guy at AU should be elbow deep in beautiful girls, it's not hard at all, just walk up to that girl in your class or that girl in the elevator with you and say "Excuse me, you're incredibly beautiful and I would love to get to know you sometime can I have your number?" So easy and effective, confidence is a drug, have some.
• @At LDR girl: What's your ring size cause you sound like a keeper. Seriously though, he couldn't possibly ask for more but do something new and exciting it will make him think twice of leaving the perfect girl that's willing to obediently wait for him despite the long distance, good luck.
• AU is so boring to me. Classes are laughable, each semester, to my shock, gets easier and easier, people are surprisingly one-dimensional, racist, and plain stupid. I hope people are as bothered by this as I am. Challenge me, lets make it an experiment.
• when your friends don't realize how upset you are...
• I won 10 bucks thanks to Chlamydia!!! Other options were Gonorrhea and the South American parasite that swims up your urethra. Let this be a lesson, stay clean or be forever the subject of ridiculous wagers.
• To the possy of frat bros who walked up to me while I was watching the Colbert Report in Tav, coming in at the part where there was briefly a stripper on screen and shouting "YEAHHHH!!!" for all to hear...you make me wish my life was a remake of "Carrie"
• @• The chubby girl in front of me is looking at food on tumblr in class lol that was probably me. i love chocolate, what can I say. no shame. [Editor’s Note: Get it girl.]
• Hey, we met at TDR through a mutual friend of a mutual friend (contrived, I know) over the weekend. Met is probably a strong word, I don't know your name but I've walked past you twice since then, once in the library and once in between the library and Anderson/Letts, I'm pretty sure you saw me there too. Just wanted to let you know that you're probably the cutest girl on campus.
• Editor, you are a god figure. You should share your opinion on the foolish rants.
• Pizza, wine, and sex. The perfect evening.
• I hope the early posting of eagle rants trend continues. [Editor's Note: Sorry they're a little later today. I was at TDR Thanksgiving.]
• What causes S and M desires? Early child abuse?
