• “[Editor’s Note: I have a very robust superiority complex.]” THIS is the greatest editor's note in the history of eagle rants.
• @"I was stupid today" I don't think this is directed to me, but god do I wish it was. I know we probably just missed each other, but I was trying to reach out to you.
• @ "post hook-up awkward" You just smile, chances are they liked it too.
• @ "I took your virginity" you can keep having sex with them some more ;)
• I really wish you were gay. You are so cute...
• I thought Black Swan was dumb and poorly acted. THERE I SAID IT
• I wish there were more women who went on Reddit...
• @Dear Wellness Center: This!!!! Definitely this!
• At ranter telling me to lay off the dude banging his professor for an A, no, I will not lay off. In fact I will send an email to the deans of all the schools putting them on alert about this unethical behavior.
• Yes, I should have better self-respect for myself, after all the things you've done to me, and all the times you've taken advantage of me. I should stay away from you. But I can't. I just can't.
• I thought that studying for finals with my bestie would be helpful but her feet smell really bad. Is there anyway I can tell her that her stench is distracting me and the rest of the library without hurting her feelings? She's really self-conscious and I know this would kill her, but I think she is really limiting herself.
• i just want you to ask me for my number already...im too nervous to ask you because overtime i open my mouth, i say something stupidly embarrassing.
• I hear the eagle rants editor eats baby red pandas.
• How do you know if you're allergic to apples?
• I like the RA on with the really tight ass.
• There's this econ major who's totally fly. I think she might be related to President Pierce.
• I just want to know the person is who responds to like 12 rants every day. Half of the @ rants are always in a row which means that they were submitted around the same time. There is one person here who *really* wants to be running a Dear Abby column.
• @Social justice is futile and racial/sexual/class/ability privilege is a myth. Thank you. You just proved that privilege IS a problem by giving us a prime example of what it looks like.
• @"I feel like you smile bigger when you see me smile which makes my heart literally skip a beat. I can’t wait to get back from break so I can see you again and make sure I’m right about this." What is the first letter of this person's name?
• Stop trying to turn me gay.
• The reason it's hard to look at you isn't because I'm mad we're over, it's just really sad that you're not in my life anymore and whenever I see you I'm brought back to all the memories we shared and all the beautiful moments. When I look at you, even now, I can't help but see the woman I fell so in love with over a year ago. And yes, I do miss you.
• @dear wellness center the awkward moment when u are too small to fit in a condom...
• I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a King of England too!
• Video et taceo-- Who said it? :-)
• While I'm unable to give my future wife my virginity, I can come to her chaste and unpolluted, having lived in virtue and light from this point on.
• JUST TELL ME YOU LIKE ME ALREADY!!!!
• Okay, so you WORK at the library. You do realize that the silent floor is SILENT right?!
• just wanted to say that I miss you terribly and ~every time I don't call, I almost do~ no seriously I haven't talked to in person you since March or seen you since April or drunk texted you since October and it's killing me. you won't read this since you don't even go here but I just wanted to say I need closure and I'm no less upset than I was 8 months ago. you little prick.
• @made an OkCupid profile: no judgement here! I made one for fun because my friends convinced me it was a great way to feel good about yourself when you're having a bad day.. they were so right! Go for it!!
• There's this guy I really liked a couple years ago. Probably the first guy I ever liked that I felt totally comfortable around, and conversation was so easy. But he was seeing this girl starting like a week before I met him.. and ever since the end of the summer last year, we've barely talked. I've just recently realized that he's the last guy I've had a crush on, and that crush ended last summer.. but now I'm realizing that might not be true because I'm remembering how well we used to get along.
• I'm a guy, and I judge girls who have a lot of casual sex. But I also judge guys who do it. Does this make me a misogynist, or an evangelical? I feel I am neither...
• @'Lol, I’m pretty sure the White Student Alliance/Men’s Initiative is America…' wow...that's so ignorant. That's the typical response of a student who feels that 'being Caucasian' is racist, or that it lacks diversity, which is not true. Caucasians are just as diverse as blacks and Hispanics, so why can't we form our own clubs? That's discrimination on your part; stop applying a double standard to yourself: discrimination and prejudice are not only applicable to black people, Caucasians can be victims too, and we are.
• @ "@gay guy bashing on lady bits. you gotta understand why you got called out for misogyny. not being attracted to vag, a-ok. actively hating on it and shaming them? misogyny" -Gay guy who wrote that.- I wasn't being serious or trying to offend anyone. I was trying to make a joke that I "chose" to be gay, and I completely apologize if I offended anyone or came off as hating on it. In all seriousness, I don't have anything against vag. Misogyny should never be tolerated and if I made anyone feel bad I really am sorry.
• I know everyone has already posted about the professor hookup, but I haven't checked the rants in a few days. How the hell did you manage that?
• @ girl who is worried about no experience: I know it feels like you're the only one left, and it's a cycle: you won't get experience because you don't already have, so you don't, etc. etc. Don't worry about it at all. Progress at whatever rate makes you feel most comfortable. The right guy will respect you for it. Source: a guy who had his first kiss at 19 and it was totally worth the wait.
• @"everything else is terrible, racist, misogynistic, awkwardly immature and ignant." Agreed. Everyone needs to calm down. Everyone can be chill and funny and just whatever. Chill out people.
• @ kid with Facebook a-hole from high school: I understand your qualms about not including your name, but helping someone else out in that situation is so much better and honestly worth it. But yes, I agree with the guy who said "we'll take care of it." Do what you need to do, if you can post the link here. We’ll report it. I don't care for a second who sees my name. I have no patience for bullying. F**k that guy.
• @"I'm so lonely...you start seeing the great things in life." Reading that made me smile. I'm so happy for you that you see the bright/right side and do what's best for you. I'm sure it hurts that your "friends" threw you under the bus, but you sound strong-spirited, and someone else/another group is going to realize that. I hope you find true friends who are as cool as you :)
• @ “ @"I feel like you smile bigger when you see me smile which makes my heart literally skip a beat. I can’t wait to get back from break so I can see you again and make sure I’m right about this."?I really hope you're a guy, looking for a guy…” Not gonna lie. Not the original ranter here, but who knows who you’re talking about. Any chance you’re talking about a tall skinny white preppy smart guy? Eh? Eh? :P
• WHY CAN'T YOU JUST CONFORM TO GENDER ROLES AND ASK ME OUT ALREADY
• To the girl who bought my entire lunch at the Tavern because I was 5 cents short - you are the definition of generosity and you're a beautiful person!
• I <3 The Dav
• I'm debating writing a second terrible review on rate my professor, THAT'S how much I hated your class.
• the best poops are period poops. poophoric, one might say. except for when you forget about your tampon and crap gets messy. but a well-intentioned mind can avoid this problem, and have a fantastically enlightening experience.
• "My stress ball just exploded all over a library computer. Finals, doing great." -is that a euphemism?
• So casually cruel in the name of being honest
• We are the watchers on the wall.
