Seventeen years. That’s how long I’ve been playing soccer. Seventeen years of endless practices, fitness tests, tournaments, successes and heartbreaks. Seventeen years of pure passion for a game that thrives on teamwork and individual mental strength. And for the first time in my life, I lost that.
I’ve always been a competitive person, someone who wants to win no matter what the cost. I have nothing to compete for without soccer. The past four years at AU have been the hardest, but most rewarding experience ever. And now that it’s over, I can’t help but look back and wonder if it was all worth it.
Juggling college courses with my commitment to the AU soccer team was the most stressful time of my life, and something I could not have done without the support of my teammates. No matter what came my way, I knew that they’d be there for me.
We’ve been through fitness tests, hours of conditioning, long practices and road trips up the East Coast together. All those moments created an unbreakable bond that’s only seen within our team. From coaching staff changes to season-ending injuries, these girls were my rock.
A lot of my friends from club soccer went on to play Division I soccer and many ended up quitting due to stress. Stress to perform everyday, stress to meet the college’s GPA requirement and stress from teammates who were more concerned with starting in a game than helping the team.
Being a part of a sport that requires so much dedication physically and mentally puts an enormous amount of stress on your shoulders, and it’s easy to want to give up and quit. I even thought about quitting. After my freshman year I was ready to turn in my cleats and walk away. But my love for the sport and my dedication to teammates stopped me. I just needed to push myself further and rely on my teammates for help.
Coming out every day for practice and playing my best in every game was a challenge. It required an intensity I had never experienced. Not only did I want to improve individually, but I also wanted to make my team and the AU soccer program better.
When the team comes out to play, everything falls into place. You feel the energy coursing through your body, a high that you can’t get anywhere else. You work hard, sweat and think like a champion. It’s perfection.
That sense of team unity is what I am going to miss the most about playing competitive soccer. The pure trust in your teammates and the coaching staff to have your back. The feel of giving literally every ounce of energy to the game to help the team win- it’s what makes the AU soccer program great.
Now that my soccer career is over, I plan on using everything I learned— hard work, team reliance, mental toughness and leadership skills— to pursue a future in environmental law. As I apply to law school, I’m excited to find competition off the field. And now I have an advantage over others because I know what it’s like to be stressed out of your mind, to have too many items on your plate at once and to push yourself further than you thought possible. I know I am capable of succeeding in law school because I’ve already done so much as a student athlete at AU, and I thank everyone in the athletic department for pushing me to the person I am today.
I would be nowhere without this team, this school and my coaches. Even though it’s cliché, I am blessed for the opportunity to be member of the AU women’s soccer team.
Erin Ryan is a senior in the School of Communication and midfielder on the AU women’s soccer team.
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