So you’re in another country. And you will be living and going to school there for the immediately foreseeable future. You’ve got a different cell phone plan, foreign money in your pocket and no friends yet.
You’re probably excited, nervous and a little overwhelmed. Feeling a bit of pressure to get the most out of doing something almost everyone at American refers to as “life-changing.” In short, you might feel a bit like a freshman again — everything is new, exciting and terrifying, all at once.
Here are a few things I wish someone had told me before I studied in Copenhagen last spring:
1. When it comes to making friends, go for balance
In Copenhagen I lived with a Danish family, but went to classes with other American students, as in students from the whole country, not just our university (although there were quite a few AU kids as well). When school started I frankly couldn’t have cared less about the other Americans. I was here to do something different, I was here to hang out with Danes! I was never rude to any of the other American students, but I didn’t go out of my way to make friends with them at first. And about halfway through the program, I started really wishing I had.
Studying abroad is a bit like having a mini re-do of freshman year. All of the Americans were in a new place, and no one had friends. All of the Danes that I met were not in a new place and already had friends.
The result is obvious — the Americans were a lot more open to becoming close quickly than the Danes were. But because I was so intent on making Danish friends, a lot of Americans bonded ... without me. About halfway through the semester, I realized that while I had some really cool Danish friends, there was no one I felt comfortable calling for a spontaneous coffee break in the middle of writing a paper. I wished I had been more open to just hanging out with cool people, regardless of their nationality. Seeking a good balance of locals and Americans is the best scenario for friends while abroad.
2. You’re there to live, not to travel
This particular tip is for people who are studying in Europe, where so many countries are so close together. Traveling is great. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of it. But even though it doesn’t feel like it, you have the rest of your life to travel.
I get it. You want to go out and see London, Paris, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Prague and Athens right now because they are right there and it would be so cool! But all of the cities, all of the other countries, will be there for the rest of your life. The opportunity to live in another country might not be. Travel. But make sure you get to know the country you live in first.
3. Don’t be afraid to be American
Before I studied abroad, I had never traveled outside of the United States. So I thought something a lot of Americans think—that everyone else in the world hates us. I was genuinely expecting eye rolls and a dismissive puff of a European cigarette every time I said I was from Washington D.C. I would try to dress as Danish as I could, to act as Danish as I could, just to offset this worry.
But that didn’t happen. Instead of giving me hate, most people had some question stockpiled that they had always wanted to ask an American or a native English speaker. My favorite, by far, was a girl from Colombia I met who asked me why Americans used the phrases “booty call” and “butt dial” to mean such different things when they sounded so similar. The questions were usually funny or interesting, and they gave me a new perspective on my own country (seriously, why do those phrases mean such different things?!).
So if you are consciously trying to dress all in black and use a fork and knife to eat your burger to look like you are from the country you live in, don’t. Just be your red, white and blue self, and you’ll be fine.
4. Don’t be afraid to be a WONK (yes I’m using that word)
Whatever your feelings about the WONK campaign, it cannot be denied that AU students are passionate. We’re a campus full of the kids who raised their hand too much in high school. And it can be somewhat disconcerting to go to a university, any university, where that passion isn’t something that unites the students. Even the American students who don’t raise their hand in class usually have something they’ll talk your ear off about if you let them.
When I started hanging out with mostly non-AU students for the first time in about three years, that difference was startling. No one I met had strong opinions on Common Core or TTIP, and they thought it was strange that I wanted to share my opinions about these topics at a bar. And at first I wanted to react to this difference by simply not talking about the things I was a little too passionate about. But that is such a middle school solution to the issue. Don’t be scared to get wonky about whatever you are wonky about. Just learn to do it in a slightly smoother way than “Guys, guys, guess what??”
Hopefully these four tips will help make your time living in another country one of the best times of your life. But, if they don’t, remember this—you are coming home. No matter what happens, this too will pass.
Shelby Ostergaard is a senior in the School of Public Affairs. She maintains a blog at shelbyostergaard.com
