The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.
“I’ve been looking forward to this day all year,” said senior CLEG major Devon Shepard, tears crystallizing in the corners of his eyes as his gaze meandered around the display in front of him. “It’s just so beautiful.”
Shepard, surrounded by dozens of other excited students, has been eagerly awaiting the renowned event: the reveal of the newly painted pink wall of Katzen in honor of National Pepto Bismol Celebration Day.
“My eyes have never been embraced so sweetly by a color so reminiscent of the time I had explosive diarrhea from TDR pasta,” said Vanessa Berit, a freshman literature major.
Every year, in accordance with the highly anticipated event, one wall in Katzen is transformed from plain white to that deep shade of naked mole rat skin, emblazoned with the boldness of the color of stomach relief.
Beginning at the wall adjacent to the dance studio, extending all the way to Katzen museum, the expansive wall offered solace to all who have ever experienced a gastric issue.
“My friends and I have been looking forward to this all first semester. It’s like Founder’s Day, but this is something I could actually get tickets for,” Berit added.
Before the actual wall was painted, a few swatches of various shades of pink were painted on a section of the wall with gold stickers above each.
“Once I walked into Katzen and there was a cardboard box on the floor that was supposed to be some art piece,” said Bobby Li, a sophmore in CAS, about the swatches. “So, to be honest, I thought it was some weird kind of interactive modern art thing.”
Unfortunately, the wall has recently returned to its original white color. This has disappointed many students and admirers.
“The pink wall might be gone but as long as I have to eat at TDR, my diarrhea never will be,” freshman Meredith Wisner said.
Nicole Klokiw is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences and a satire columnist at The Eagle.
