The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.
This year’s display of sticky note messages on the inside of residence hall windows lacked the pizazz students had come to expect from their peers.
The messages, made out of hundreds of individual sticky notes, reflected a steep decline from previous years in terms of quantity, variety, and creativity, according to students familiar with the situation.
“During the Democratic primaries in 2020, everyone would spell out which candidate they were supporting,” junior Linda Estrada said. “Now it’s like a heart here, a smiley face there. How are we supposed to keep up our reputation as one of the most liberal colleges in the country with those sort of amateur tactics?”
Only 30 percent of this year’s sticky note designs have anything to do with electoral politics, according to an Eagle tally — an all-time low for the University.
Another point of contention among students concerned is the perception that fewer students care about decorating their windows this year.
“I remember in my freshman year someone organized the whole fifth floor of Letts to spell out a sentence going down the line of windows,” senior Delia Mathis said. “Now the freshmen claim they have more important things to do like studying for class. Give me a break!”
Students are not the only ones impacted by this trend.
“I’m really miffed that students aren’t taking their window decorations seriously,” said Celia Bennett, director of undergraduate admissions. “A robust sticky note display on the residence hall windows can help us entice prospective parents. It shows them that AU kids don’t have enough time to drink and carouse if they’re designing, planning and arranging intricate sticky note designs on their windows.”
Students reported a conspiracy theory circulating, which implicates disgruntled George Washington University students in the demise of AU’s creative sticky note messages on windows. The connection between GWU students and the lack of creativity of AU students remains to be seen.
Owen Boice is a senior in the School of Public Affairs and the satire editor at The Eagle.
