The following piece is an opinion and does not reflect the views of The Eagle and its staff. All opinions are edited for grammar, style and argument structure and fact-checked, but the opinions are the writer’s own.
I am a sorority girl.
There, I said it. Now, it’s out there for everyone to perceive me with the negative stereotypes that come with those words: fake, superficial and transactional. It almost seems forbidden to say it without contextualizing it.
I’m not going to sugarcoat my perspective and say the stereotypes are lies about sororities across the country because I cannot speak for other sororities. However, after almost two years in my own sorority and being on the recruitment side, I can confidently say that nothing about my friendships in my sorority is fake. While I agree with the notion of social media, the setups and some parts of recruitment being “fake,” labeling an organization as lacking depth and superficial are lazy stereotypes based on surface-level observations.
Especially since the rise of “Bama-Tok — the surge in TikTok videos of students going through recruitment at the University of Alabama — the talk of the town has been the “fakeness” surrounding the recruitment process.
To give some context, formal recruitment at American University is a three-day event that takes place right before the spring semester. The three days start with an orientation and are followed by “sisterhood day,” “philanthropy day” and “preference day.” All potential new members or PNMs — girls who wish to join a sorority for the first time — are invited to the first day. As the days go on, depending on whether there is a mutual match between the PNM and the organization, those going through recruitment may or may not be invited back. A person would not be invited back if the organization felt a connection but the individual did not, or vice versa. The rounds become longer and the conversations deeper as the days go on.
Given that I do not love the system and believe it takes more than a few minutes to get to know someone’s personality and values, I agree it can come off as superficial. But, as with any recruiting event, whether for jobs or school, it is impossible to spend hours getting to know each of the hundreds of PNMs. From being on both sides of recruitment, I can say there is genuineness in the conversations and their intentions despite their short time. The recruiters are just as nervous to meet new members because we care and are looking for meaningful connections. The limited time can lead to approaching deeper topics quicker, and the vulnerability from both sides is very real. This is a time to make new friends, after all, so even if the PNM ends up committing to a different organization, the few conversations that were had during the recruitment process can be the spark of a new friendship.
Outside of personality and friendships, sororities also value a PNM’s commitment to academics, philanthropy,service and leadership to determine a fit holistically. Although the explanation seems daunting, it is easier to make authentic connections and holistic impressions at a school like American, where Greek life has a smaller presence with fewer members. The process is less intense, with an emphasis on diversity and individuality that reflects the values of the AU campus.
Sorority life, as portrayed in movies and media, makes it seem like the connections formed within it are transactional and only for appearances. Sure, there are girls we click with and don’t click with, but that is completely normal in any social group. From personal experience, each member is genuine in their attempts to form closer bonds. It seems forced because of the initial process of becoming a part of Greek life, but after the beginning, members slowly get to know one another, forming relationships from friendships to mentors. The uniformity in sororities and the attempts to showcase the best parts of themselves on social media have the opposite effect by appearing to play “pretend” friends, but once you can look past the traditions and structure of the organization, the authenticity is there.
I am lucky to say that I have created meaningful connections and have a great support system that always shows up for me in every way imaginable. If I were ever to become disaffiliated, I know the friends I made in the organization will continue to be my closest friends.
It is difficult to reinvent the perception of sororities after the movies and stereotypes, but I implore everyone to open their minds and see it from a different perspective. The truth is, sororities are what you make of them, and beyond the matching outfits and the events, the real value comes from the connections and willingness to authentically get to know everyone.
Sara Shibata is a junior in the School of Public Affairs and School of Communication and a columnist for The Eagle.
This piece was edited by Alana Parker, Rebeca Samano Arellano and Abigail Turner. Copy editing done by Luna Jinks and Nicole Kariuki.
