This just in: our mothers used to be just like us. And guess what? They still are!
This is going beyond the development of googoo gaga object permanence cloth mother wire mother.
This is reaching into a whole different sphere where we gain enough empathy to realize that mothers are more than the maternal role we’ve always seen them as. (Google says the synonyms for maternal are tender, devoted and nurturing. Sucks to suck if you can’t relate). Now that we’re adults, we should have enough room in our brains to appropriately shift our perceptions. So why does recognizing this change hurt so bad?
Maybe the hurt is from seeing her wistfully look out the window during your countryside road trip, observing the handful of horses grazing the overgrown grass. Maybe the dig at your heart is from hearing her wistfully reminisce about her faraway dream of moving to the countryside and learning how to tame an elusive, wild mare. Maybe you can almost picture her muddy boots striking the reins, her dirt-filled nails brushing the fur. What probably crushes you the most is the fact that you sat there stunned while she talked about her dream, unable to respond besides a tight smile and a nod.
In a haze, you probably responded with a “that’s cool,” or something equally dry as if you were your best friend’s White Anglo-Saxon Protestant college boyfriend rushing for Alpha Omega. Unfortunately, you weren’t trying to appease a frat sweetheart, but trying to comfort your mother! You wanted to give any kind of reciprocity for the love she gave you (hopefully).
Your mom isn’t Bella Hadid –– she can’t just drop everything to live the c(o)untry lifestyle of her dreams. In fact, your mother is a much more apparent slave to capitalism than supermodel Bella Hadid!
So what can you do? You can start with the obvious –– Google “how to talk to people.” You could even take it a step further and declare yourself a communications major and take all the necessary courses (lots of jargon about ethos, pathos and logos however).
Something slightly more subtle would be to call your mom, and not ask her for money. Let us repeat ourselves: DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO NOT ASK YOUR MOTHER FOR MONEY. You should ask her how she is instead. Here, say it with me:
“HI MOM, HOW ARE YOU?”
(phonetic spelling inserted below):
haɪ mɑm, haʊ ɑr ju?
Easy peasy! You’re now one step closer to connecting with your mother and acknowledging her autonomy.
Jasmine Shi is a junior in the School of Communications and a satire columnist for The Eagle.
This article was edited by India Siecke, Rebeca Samano Arellano and Abigail Turner. Copy editing done by Luna Jinks, Nicole Kariuki and Charlie Mennuti.
