The following piece is an opinion and does not reflect the views of The Eagle and its staff. All opinions are edited for grammar, style and argument structure and fact-checked, but the opinions are the writer’s own.
Recently, I was doom-scrolling on TikTok and stumbled upon a quote from Hillary Clinton. The quote reads, “It’s always surprising to me how many young women think they have to be perfect. I rarely meet a young man who doesn’t think he already is.” This quote is shocking, but true; as a self-proclaimed perfectionist and high-achiever myself, I know this feeling all too well. At a school as academically focused and competitive as American University, I am certain I am not alone.
While most college students experience a fair amount of pressure and stress, some face stress that is extremely unhealthy and even dangerous. Before coming to college, I was aware of the common saying, “C’s get degrees.” However true that sentiment may be for the average university, AU's overachieving culture looks down on grades below a B. In my experience, these pressures are heightened for the average female AU student.
The stress and pressure female students feel is typically more extreme than that of our male counterparts. Such stress can stem from many factors; yet, there is one common factor that contributes to the stress of many female students — gender stereotypes. Within society, women are commonly perceived as less than men. Thus, it becomes more difficult to reach the same goals — leading to women doing extra work, and subsequently, becoming more stressed in order to make up for sexist societal discrepancies.
Society treats men and women differently; gender roles are thrust upon children as soon as they are born — little girls wear dainty, pink clothes while little boys wear “manly” colors and “tough” designs like camo. As we grow, gender roles are ever-present barriers to education. In 2021, men accounted for 65 percent of college graduates receiving a STEM degree, whereas women accounted for only 35 percent; though various factors impact this discrepancy, many can be traced back to the differences in the value placed on the genders from a young age.
Pay disparities further the gender inequality that gender minorities often bear throughout life. In 2022, white women earned 82 cents on the dollar of their white male counterparts. For women of color, this number is even lower; Black women earn 70 cents on the dollar of white males and Hispanic women earn 65 cents. The gender pay gap’s intersection with race is an important reminder of how gender is just one marginalizing factor. For women with other minority identities, the negative effects of gender disparities are commonly more extreme.
Socially constructed gender differences are relatively tangible — you can walk into the children's toy section in Walmart and see the sharp divide between blue and pink. However, there are many other, non-visible ways sexism seeps into the culture and the minds of many.
For many female college students, sexist societal expectations come to a boiling point. A 2023 Gallup study found that female college students are much more likely than male college students to face negative emotions and stress. As it cannot reasonably be concluded that every woman in college has a more demanding course load, extracurricular schedule, job, internship, etc., than male college students — workload is not the reason behind such disparities in stress.
The cause — at least in part — of the immense anxiety felt by female college students starts well before they arrive at university. A phenomenon called the “Confidence Gap” may be a main cause of such pressure. The confidence gap is the occurrence in which women feel less confident in themselves than men. Such confidence can be academic, personal, social or nearly anything else. Research shows the confidence gap can start to form in adolescence, with girls ages 8 to 14 showing a nearly 30% disparity in confidence in comparison to their male counterparts.
Within higher education, the confidence gap is ever-present. Research shows that men are more likely to speak up in academic settings than women. The culmination of the confidence gap and other societal pressures manifest as overly-stressed, perfection-obsessed female college students. This is something I can speak to firsthand as I live it: I feel the pressure to get all A’s, give 100 percent to every assignment, and maintain a standard of perfection. But, as research has also noted, it is dangerously tiring to live this way.
Of course, gender is just one aspect that can contribute to the stress one feels in college. This article is in no way claiming that men or others who do not identify as women have it easy. Instead, my aim is to address the disparities and inequalities that gender fosters within education, so that we may understand why marginalized genders face vastly different mentalities and realities than others.
I urge all college students reading this article to reevaluate their mentalities and look into the societal forces behind them. College is a time of learning — not a time of perfection. If we were truly perfect, we would walk into our first day of class with full knowledge of the topic — an unattainable standard for anyone. To female students, do not be afraid to fail or lapse in perfection; it is okay to exist as yourself.
Addie DiPaolo is a sophomore in the School of Public Affairs and a columnist for The Eagle.
This article was edited by Alana Parker, Rebeca Samano Arellano and Abigail Turner. Copy editing done by Luna Jinks, Nicole Kariuki and Ella Rousseau.
