Since moving to Washington D.C., homesickness has been a constant feeling I am learning to live with. Homesickness is something that I anticipated; I knew that homesickness is a big part of going to college far from your home and family, especially when you are apart from them by miles and miles of land and a vast ocean. However, I didn’t realize I would also miss the people who are no longer with me — whom I left back home, but who left me a long time ago.
My grandfather died seven years ago. He contributed to a huge part of who I am today. He was my moral compass and a role model who inspired my willingness to serve my community. Every year, my family in Colombia holds an anniversary mass for his death, and this year was the first time I couldn’t attend. When I was in Colombia, I didn’t go to these services every year to confess or pray for his eternal rest. I attended because the grief wasn’t just mine — it was shared. In that space, I wasn’t alone in missing him.
Homesickness is not simply missing the architectural structure you call home. It’s about missing what makes that place home: the routines, the people and the environment that make that place home. For me, homesickness includes the feeling of longing for a communal grief or shared nostalgia that remains long after loss.
From my experience, shared feelings within a community can make life easier. When you do it alone, dealing with emotions that may affect your daily life can be especially stressful in complex environments like college because these feelings tend to arise at the most unexpected and undesired moments. It’s natural to feel many things, and it’s good to experience different steps on this journey. But, when we reach a certain point of nostalgia, we wish we were with our families, hugging them and sharing with them.
I also think the grief students have is rarely acknowledged in the academic community. People tend to avoid these kinds of feelings or memories. Sometimes they tend to avoid them with the excuse that “it was a long time ago.” But that doesn’t erase love and it certainly doesn’t erase loss. My grandfather passed away a long time ago, but it still hurts when I think of him.
Others may relate to this topic with a beloved pet, another family member or even another incident that you occasionally think about. We all share the feeling of missing a loved one and thinking that only we can understand how deeply this affects us.
I was surprised to learn that American University has the Center for Well-Being Programs and Psychological Services. If you’re struggling with feelings like these and need help expressing them, I invite you to give the Well-Being Center a chance. You may find a way to express yourself and no longer be silent: it is not exactly family, but it could help you.
College is not the easiest experience in life, and ignoring these feelings doesn’t help to make it easier. Don’t keep it just for yourself: release it. Somehow you will find a way to live with it and remember your loved ones with a brighter mind. Maybe it will help me remember my dear Tata and not get tears in my eyes.
Jeronimo Freydell-Cristancho is a freshman in the School of International Service and a columnist for The Eagle.
This article was edited by Quinn Volpe, Alana Parker and Abigail Turner. Copy editing done by Luna Jinks, Olivia Citarella, Emma Brown, Nicole Kariuki and Hannah Langenfeld.
