The following piece is an opinion and does not reflect the views of The Eagle and its staff. All opinions are edited for grammar, style and argument structure and fact-checked, but the opinions are the writer’s own.
Editor’s Note: This article contains references to sexual violence and sexual assault.
In early February 2025, male prisoners in the Democratic Republic of Congo launched a prison break. In their mass escape, the 4,000 escapees raped nearly 200 female prisoners, then set fire to the prison in Goma, which killed most of the victims.
February marks Healthy Relationships Month, a time for the promotion of healthy relationships, both platonic and otherwise, and spreading awareness surrounding domestic violence and sexual assault. What does it say about society that even in a prison escape, violence against women is a bigger priority than freedom? While the incident in Congo may seem distant geographically, its underlying power dynamics and patterns of abuse are present globally — including within our own communities.
The United Nations Refugee Agency defines gender-based violence as “violence committed against a person because of his or her sex or gender. It is forcing another person to do something against his or her will through violence, coercion, threats, deception, cultural expectations, or economic means.” It includes domestic violence, child marriages and physical and sexual violence.
Everyone conjures up an image in their mind when they hear “gender-based violence,” but it rarely starts with bruises or right hooks to the face or even acts of sexual violence. It’s usually much more subtle than most people expect, and you don’t have to live in Congo to recognize the patterns of behavior in your communities, experience it or prevent it.
Gender-based violence often hinges on power dynamics between the abuser and the victim. The perpetrator uses various tactics that intimidate, threaten and control to prevent the victim from escaping the environment and the relationship.
Like most crimes, the “stranger danger” notion plays a role, but most instances often occur in close relationships among friends, partners, teachers and family.
The 2021 Netflix show “Maid” tells the story of a young mother navigating domestic violence. The show explores complicated family dynamics and economic insecurity and highlights how a lack of resources contributes to victimization. My biggest takeaway from the show was a quote: “Before they hit you, they hit near you.” It perfectly illustrates that gender-based violence isn’t just about physical violence, but all the behavior leading up to it.
So, what should you be looking out for? Signs of gender-based violence include:
- Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
- Controlling behavior
- Sudden mood swings, feeling like you have to walk on eggshells around someone
- Sexist comments or “jokes”
- Insults or belittlement, privately or in front of others
- Attempts to cut you off from friends or family
The signs show up long before the violence, and the normalization of acts like these fuels a vicious cycle of violence and abuse. One in three women and one in four men have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Everyone is responsible for calling out problematic behavior when we see it, and we shouldn’t skirt around the topic simply because it involves difficult conversations.
Something as simple as listening without judgment or showing up for someone — when they ask and when they don’t — can make your presence a safe space for someone who feels they have none. Establishing personal and relationship boundaries can help you identify when you’re being asked to do things with which you’re uncomfortable.
It’s even more important to take the time to introspect and recognize when you need to take responsibility for things, when you need to apologize and when you have made inflammatory statements or used harmful language. It can be challenging to recognize room for progress in others, but even more so when you have to recognize how your actions can and have harmed others.
Gender-based violence is a taboo subject — one many feel is reserved for women — but it’s never just been about women. Gender-based violence is a human rights issue, and it cannot be solved in an echo chamber: Have the difficult conversation, for yourself and for the people around you who don’t know how to.
Adria Liwewe is a sophomore in the School of Public Affairs and a columnist for the Eagle.
Students who have experienced sexual assault or harassment can seek support through confidential resources such as the University’s Center for Well-Being Programs and Psychological Services, the Student Health Center, the Kay Spiritual Life Center or the following hotlines:
- Collegiate Assistance Program: 1-855-678-8679
- Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN) anonymous chat
- RAINN hotline: 1-800-656-4673
- DC Rape Crisis Center: 202-333-7273
- Legal Aid: DC Volunteer Lawyers Project
Non-confidential resources include the University’s Title IX Office and AUPD.
This article was edited by Quinn Volpe, Alana Parker and Abigail Turner. Copy editing done by Luna Jinks, Olivia Citarella, Emma Brown and Nicole Kariuki.
